Because I have too much time on my hands....

I sold my soul on eBay

Or should that be "I sold my soul TO eBay"?

It's much of a muchness anyway. The point is - I've just listed my first ever item for sale on eBay. After talking about it for so long, I've finally done it. I've become an eBay seller.

And may I say, what a job it was! I'm exhausted! I wanted to list a few more things, but it's rapidly approaching 2:30am, and I need sleeeeeep. It's taken me virtually 2 hours to list one item. Granted, I had to work out payment details etc, upload some photos (I have a sneaking suspicion I uploaded the giant huge 5meg ones instead of the small versions I resized especially. Oh well), and work out what to charge for postage (when was the last time I sent a parcel?!?) - but still, that was a long time.

So, dear readers, if anyone is looking to buy a decent point-and-shoot digital camera, please take a look at my sexy red Sony Cybershot. Help me make my first online sale a good 'un!

Cheers all, Natalie.

EDIT: It's now Tuesday, and I've listed a whole lot more stuff on eBay. So if you're looking for a Homedics massage mat, or an Olga Berg or Fiorelli handbag, or maybe a James Bond role-playing or board game, please check out my listings!

Giggles ahoy

Ahhhhh....the guys at The Chaser rock. Hard.

Last Friday Chas Licciardello was arrested for selling fake knives and knuckledusters outside a Bulldogs rugby league match as part of a sketch. I ran the story a few times last Saturday morning, fourth or fifth story in my bulletin, because I thought it was a great gag, but nothing worth getting steamed about. I feel bad for a journo at our Sydney station though, as after leading with stories about Lebanon for several hours, she decided to lead with the arrest as something different.

Of course, what happens this evening? The Chaser use that very bulletin to point out how odd it was that Chas' arrest was more important than the Middle East crisis. ;)

Mind you, Alan Jones cops more from The Chaser lads than our blokes. Deservedly so too, from what I can tell. There's so many audio slices of Jones swearing and generally behaving abominably - I find it hard to comprehend why people still like him.

Anyway, it's all made a very dull Friday night in the newsroom rather fun. That and the pizza and chocolate cake. So many bad food habits!

Nat.

Meet Yasmin

This is Yasmin.

Apparently, she's getting married.

From what I can gather from Channel Ten's website, Yasmin's Getting Married is some sort of delightful 21st century cross between Big Brother and Perfect Match. It seems Yasmin has 9 weeks to find a groom - with a studio panel on hand to dissect her dating dilemmas, and ruminate on the trials and tribulations of tying the knot.

Now I can't think of anything I'd rather NOT watch. Just forget for an instant the insanely HORRID messages this sends to young girls ("True love CAN be found through reality TV!"), I just can't see how anyone could stand watching this. It's surely going to be like the fingernails screeching down the proverbial blackboard.

So I've come up with a list of a few shows I'd RATHER watch than Yasmin's Getting Married:

Yasmin's Getting Herpes
Yasmin sleeps with a ship full of sailors, and a studio panel has to help her work out which one of the sleazebags gave her a sexually transmitted infection.

Yasmin's Getting Down
Watch Yasmin mix it with the hip-hop heavies of Los Angeles, before getting involved in a ruthless turf war with the gangs of the East-si-iiide. Damn, bitch.

Yasmin's Getting Sweet F*** All
The new reality sensation that sees wannabe stars tricked into embarrassing themselves on national television, ending up with nothing to show from their 15 minutes of fame except a complete lack of dignity.

Ummm....whoops?

Doctor Who: fans beware!

Look, I really am not trying to make fun of this guy, who was featured in a program about morbidly obese on Channel Nine this evening. It's supremely sad to see people like this - and I have deliberately posted a photo where this 395-kilogram gentleman is mostly covered by a sheet (taken with my new camera again. I'll get sued for this!).

But my point is, Doctor Who fans beware. Make sure you get out every once in a while, and have some vegetables for smeg's sake.

This goes for me too, by the way, as I'm not too proud to admit to shameful junk food excesses in my time - mainly relating to the over-consumption of cheesy popcorn. I am a Doctor Who fan as well. Here's a much nicer Doctor-related picture I found on Wikipedia:

See, that's much nicer. I love the gawky shot of David Tennant too. He's so gosh-darned cute I just want to give him a big hug and tussle his hair. Tussle other things too....ahem. Does that make me strange? Mind you, I've always though Paul McGann was a bit dishy too, in a cerebral sort of way. However I have to stand by my statement that the Sixth Doctor, Colin Baker, is my favourite - basely purely on the superficial reason that while attending the "Inside the Tardis" fan event last year, he remarked with some surprise on the fact that "a pretty girl is here!". Tee-hee. Blush. The Doctor called me pretty. Hee hee. Take that fanboys!

Hmm, what else? Oh yeah! Today my apartment FINALY settled. I am now officially a home-owner, and landlady to boot! My mortgage package by the way is called "Break Free", which I think is just a tad more than ironic. "Break Free! Into flipping great wodges of debt! Huzzah!"

Until next time, Gadget! Natalie.

How to Be a Pussycat Doll. By Girl Clumsy.

It's a Saturday morning, and as usual I'm at work, spending most of my time as I seem to do these days watching Pussycat Dolls film clips. (It's a slow news day, all right?)

After several weeks of being subjected to "Beep" and "Buttons" and other similarly suggestable song titles, I've come up with what I believe to be the three definitive dance moves that are present in every PCD video clip (That's right, they've been acronymed). I'm presenting them here as a handy guide to all budding pop princesses, keen to strip down and oil up for their shot at fame and fortune.

For those of you unfamiliar with the The Pussycat Dolls - you can find out more here.

Dance Move #1: The Sexy Strut to Camera

A spiced-up cabaret version of what I like to call a "Tombstone": that slow-motion, all-in-line walking-forwards move. There's a great parody of it in Mystery Men. The PCD version sees the girls assemble in a reasonably straight line, thrust their pelvises forward and stalk their way towards the camera as fast as their Versace boots or Manola Blahnik stilettos will carry them. In time, of course. Sometimes the footage is slowed down for a sashaying effect; other times it's sped up so fast they look like catwalking Nazi peacocks. Either way, it's the easiest move to practice at home - as long as you have a long corridor and arthritis-free hips.

Dance Move #2: The Booty-and-Booby Shaker

You can't just stop at the end of a DM#1 - you'd ruin the effect. You need a statement move, and it doesn't come bigger than the B&B shaker. Stand with feet shoulder-width apart, toes slightly pointing outwards. Suck in your gut, and stick out your chest and butt. Raise your arms so that your elbows are at the same level as your shoulders. There should be a right angle between your upper arm and forearm, with your hands out in front of you. Simultaneously pump your elbows and chest back and forward, while taking a step at a time on the spot. Practice in front of the mirror - if it looks like you're having an epileptic fit, you're doing it correctly. Try shaking your butt at the same time (requires co-ordination), then simply tilt your head back slightly to complete the move. A warning for though for anyone with a bust size bigger than a a 12B - this could have somebody's eye out, so wear a sports bra, or strap the girls in for the ride.

Dance Move #3: The Anti-Gravity Leg Rub

Anti-gravity is just a cleverer way of saying "upwards", really. But still, this is the finishing part of our three-step process, so it's got to sound good as well as look good. After completing several seconds (or minutes, if you're flat-chested) of DM#2, plant your feet, with your right foot slightly in front of your left. Using your hips as a hinge, lower the top half of your body until it is flat and parallel to the floor. Reach your right arm down to your right ankle, then slowly bring it up your calf and thigh in a smooth continuous movement to your hip. As your hand rises, so should your body, until you're virtually upright. For a flirty finishing flourish, try smacking your butt with the palm of your right hand. You'll find it's a very natural move - after being so sexy through all three moves, you'll just want to slap your ass silly.

So now you should all be experts in the basic moves of a Pussycat Doll. Try them out at home - these three moves can be repeated ad infinitum - or at least until the music runs out. For best results, wear very little clothing, have body hair completely waxed off, apply plentiful amounts of spray tan and body oil, zjush up your head hair, and never eat again. Ever.

Happy dancing! Natalie.

New toy

Ah-ha! Behold, my new toy:

Well, ok, that doesn't make much sense. It's not really what the picture is of - it's what took the picture!

Camera! Bwah-hah!

The Panasonic DMC-TZ1 to be exact. Just got it today - one of a range of purchases necessary before the big trip. It's only 5 megapixels (my last was 3.2), but it has a 10x zoom, and it's still a compact digital. I've ordered an extra battery from an eBay seller, now I've just got to get a case - and a memory card. Thinking of going the big 2gb - figured I might as well have lots of room as I'm not sure when we'll get time to download etc!

I took the picture of our tv, currently screening Family Guy on DVD. I reckon it's quite clear - and quick too, to get the clarity. In some other shots the camera's captured one frame melding into the next one. Still, not bad, especially considering I've yet to open the instruction book. That's next. I also took this one:

It's a shot of the back of my blanket. Wow, what an exciting life I lead. ;)

What else has been happening? Well, I've bought my backpack and warm fleece, organised visas and paid off most of the tours. There's some upfront costs still to be paid before we go, and no doubt there will be other expenses that pop up. July and August are normally my expense months - car insurance, rego etc all come up at this time of year. Also, the apartment settles this Friday, so no doubt there will be costs associated with that. I've taken out contents/landlords' insurance; but you'll be pleased to know I've decided to "bone" (as Eddie McGuire would say) life & trauma insurance. My reasoning is thus: if I die, I won't really care what happens; my chances of being diagnosed with cancer or heart disease at my age in the next 6 months are statistically slim (touch wood); and if I get sick or injured overseas travel insurance will cover it. And I can't get income protection insurance anyway, as I'm voluntarily giving up my job. I'll look at life & trauma later on - with no current dependants to worry about, it just seems like $300 that could be better spent on a good jacket to keep me warm and vaccines to keep me immunised. ;)

Finally, I just want to say: Doctor. Who. Rocks. Hard. I don't want to give away any spoilers, but people, the second series starts this Saturday on the ABC. Watch it. It's muchos fun, and David Tennant is just so gosh-darn-adorable. Greg and I watched the penultimate episode yesterday and both cheered and roared at the denouement (even though we both had an inkling it was coming).

Wow, an exhaustive update. More shots from the camera once I read the instruction book!

Natalie.