I mean, you'd think the Cybermen would be able to kick the Daleks' collective metal arse at least once or twice.
Feb 29, 2008
The Doctor's Greatest Enemies
I mean, you'd think the Cybermen would be able to kick the Daleks' collective metal arse at least once or twice.
Feb 26, 2008
Your bags, madam...
The Wah said something the other day that I found extraordinarily interesting.
(Not that I don't find everything the Wah says extraordinarily interesting; it's just I don't know how interested you'd all be in our post-show desconstructions of terrible British sci-fi series "Primeval".)
I was getting ready to go off somewhere and combing through my handbag - which at the moment happens to be a large-ish, orange carry-all, featuring embroidered Vietnamese god-figure on the front (courtesy of my Mum's trip to Ho Chi Minh city last year).
The Wah began ranting about women and handbags, and the messiness of it all. To paraphrase - his thesis was that no woman with a messy handbag can ever be taken seriously. Imagine, he said, meeting an important business contact, then fumbling through your bag looking for a business card. With men, reasoned the Wah, you reach into your wallet, grab a card, hand it over. No fuss. And men respect no fuss.
The Wah admitted that compartmentalised handbags are all right, if everything is stored neatly and made easily accessible. But they must be compartmentalised - because that's how men think.
Now amongst women, appreciation of handbags ranks second only to appreciation of shoes. I think most women understand that a messy handbag is an occasional hazard, nothing to be mocked. We have a lot of shit to carry, y'all. And despite the best efforts of the world's most fashionable scientists, we women are still struggling with "sinking key syndrome" (the reason you can never find your keys in under 10 seconds).
So I want to know the thoughts of others - what do men think of handbags? Do you think the style, colour or state of the contents say something about its owner? And ladies - is a handbag a fashion statement, or just a practical accessory? Is it entirely our fault - or can some of the blame be put on designers and trendsetters, who'd never be seen in baggy trousers with plenty of pocket room for phones, wallets, keys and a lip gloss*?
*Appreciation of lip gloss comes in third after shoes and handbags.
(Not that I don't find everything the Wah says extraordinarily interesting; it's just I don't know how interested you'd all be in our post-show desconstructions of terrible British sci-fi series "Primeval".)
I was getting ready to go off somewhere and combing through my handbag - which at the moment happens to be a large-ish, orange carry-all, featuring embroidered Vietnamese god-figure on the front (courtesy of my Mum's trip to Ho Chi Minh city last year).
The Wah began ranting about women and handbags, and the messiness of it all. To paraphrase - his thesis was that no woman with a messy handbag can ever be taken seriously. Imagine, he said, meeting an important business contact, then fumbling through your bag looking for a business card. With men, reasoned the Wah, you reach into your wallet, grab a card, hand it over. No fuss. And men respect no fuss.
The Wah admitted that compartmentalised handbags are all right, if everything is stored neatly and made easily accessible. But they must be compartmentalised - because that's how men think.
Now amongst women, appreciation of handbags ranks second only to appreciation of shoes. I think most women understand that a messy handbag is an occasional hazard, nothing to be mocked. We have a lot of shit to carry, y'all. And despite the best efforts of the world's most fashionable scientists, we women are still struggling with "sinking key syndrome" (the reason you can never find your keys in under 10 seconds).
So I want to know the thoughts of others - what do men think of handbags? Do you think the style, colour or state of the contents say something about its owner? And ladies - is a handbag a fashion statement, or just a practical accessory? Is it entirely our fault - or can some of the blame be put on designers and trendsetters, who'd never be seen in baggy trousers with plenty of pocket room for phones, wallets, keys and a lip gloss*?
*Appreciation of lip gloss comes in third after shoes and handbags.
Feb 21, 2008
Yearning to be Average
Further to my post of last week on the subject of earnings-slash-wages-slash-sweet, sweet cash, comes news that the average Australian salary has increased by $55 a week over the past year. According to AAP, this takes the average annual wage to $57, 730.
Yes, I know there are a bunch of fatcats and CEOs earning gazillions who nudge the figures up (Alan Moss, I'm looking at you), but still it makes me feel just a wee bit depressed.
I've always tried to shoot for above-average, for extraordinary even. I've never wanted to just be one of the madding crowd. But after reading that, and for the first time in my life...
... I'd love to be average.
Ah, average. How you run from my grasp!
Yes, I know there are a bunch of fatcats and CEOs earning gazillions who nudge the figures up (Alan Moss, I'm looking at you), but still it makes me feel just a wee bit depressed.
I've always tried to shoot for above-average, for extraordinary even. I've never wanted to just be one of the madding crowd. But after reading that, and for the first time in my life...
... I'd love to be average.
Ah, average. How you run from my grasp!
Feb 20, 2008
Lindsay "does" Marilyn
I have been a huge fan of Marilyn Monroe for about 15 years. I just adore the woman, and it's a adoration that extends beyond those iconic images - images that continue to be aped to this day, to convey glamour and beauty, or perhaps even a tragic sense of wasted talent, or early death.
So it's with some trepidation that I viewed Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan's re-creation of Marilyn's last official photo shoot - the Bert Stern series. It was with some amazement that I realised Bert Stern himself was the photographer, and personally approved the choice of Lindsay "DUI" Lohan.
The thing is, I can see that Lindsay "Charlie" Lohan does have a touch of the vulnerability that made the public so warm to Monroe. But in my opinion, she doesn't quite get there. Don't get me wrong, they're good photos (they're by Stern, after all), but when you compare... well, you just can't compare, can you? After all, Marilyn had the wide-eyed innocence and enthusiasm of youth, wrapped up in the sensual body of a Greek goddess. But one of the most important things about the Stern series is that it portrayed the reality of the 36-year-old Marilyn. She had a gallbladder surgery scar, and breasts starting to head south. Her body was still firm, but her face was beginning to show lines - not unflattering, not career-destroying, but natural, and normal, and beautiful. The Stern series shows a woman, still youthful, but not young. A woman on the cusp of a new era, personally and professionally. Sadly, Marilyn's accidental death on August 5 1962 cut the promise of the Stern photo series short.
To me, what the Stern series of Lindsay "Rehab" Lohan shows is a 21-year-old former child star seeking to ally herself with the "good" Hollywood qualities of beauty, on screen presence and star power - handy after a series of Golden Razzie-worthy film appearances and no end of off-screen tabloid dramas. Sure, Marilyn took (prescription) drugs and drank too much champagne, but she had the good sense not to drive home. Sure, Marilyn enjoyed the company of some shady characters, but at least she didn't hang out with the Hiltons.
However, there is one thing this Lindsay "Rehab" Lohan photoshoot really brought home to me - the size of Lindsay's norks. Man. They're huge! Who would've thought that? She's always so stick-thin, wandering about the place. Gives the impression she'd be a bit of a Keira Knightley in the top-bollocks department. But no. The girl's stacked. And as a fellow member of the Jumbo Jugs club, I salute her, and recommend underwiring.
Feb 15, 2008
Making Ends Meet
I've been watching with some interest the reaction to Prime Minister Kevin Rudd's moves to freeze parliamentarians' wages until mid-2009.
Big business has apparently rejected Mr Rudd's call for wage restraint for executive salaries, claiming they have to offer lucrative deals to attract the best and brightest candidates. A fair point, one might say. The same argument could be made for parlimentarians - something along the lines of "pay peanuts, get monkeys".
What I'm looking for, though, is a definition of the term "peanuts". Because in my world, the base MP salary of $127,060 really doesn't qualify as "peanuts". In my world, $127,060 is "honey-roasted macadamias picked covered in gold leaf and served in a Faberge egg".
But Tony Abbott, always a man of the people (providing, of course, those people are BMW-driving, chai latte-sipping, multiple home-owning, stockmarket-investing, first class-travelling, Prada-wearing yuppie tossbags), has jumped into action. From AAP:
Former minister TONY ABBOTT says politicians are struggling to make ends meet on a backbencher's base salary of 127 thousand and 60 dollars.
Mr ABBOTT says they have all the normal expenses that families have .. and the only source of meeting those expenses is their parliamentary salaries.
I'm sorry, but what the fuck?!?!?
Now let's take into account rising inflation rates coupled with gigantic mortgages for multi-million dollar homes, and throw in private education expenses and other childcare costs. Sure, that's going to dent the pocket. But let's also take into account that MPs travel and many other expenses are covered by the taxpayer. Many will have leased Commonwealth cars, with petrol paid for by you and me. Fair enough - we're their boss, so we pay their expenses. But I'm sorry, my heart remains firmly un-bleeding for these people.
If you choose to enter politics, you should choose to do so with more than just financial benefit in mind. You're choosing to try to make a difference in people's lives. You should be well aware with any job of what your salary will be, and whether or not it meets your expectations and funds your lifestyle. If it doesn't - then just fuck off. Don't enter parliament claiming to be my representative then whinge about $127,060 a year.
I work in commercial radio journalism, which I'm sorry to say, is NEVER going to pay well. Other people my age are earning $60k, $80k easy in their public service and white-collar private sector jobs. Tradies earn bucketloads more. A guy who cleans cars at my brother's workplace earns more than me. My two degrees count for virtually nothing pay-wise (well, one is a BA, so I'll take the jokes on that).
So yeah, I get paid pretty shit wages. Sure, I don't have kids to add extra expenses (and I can tell you, there's a really good case of putting them off for much longer if not forever), but I still have increasing mortgage repayments to make and higher costs of petrol and groceries. Yeah, you're right. I probably could go and get another job that pays much better. I choose to stay where I am because I actually really do love the industry, and want to further my experience in it. So I can cope with all this. However, it's not all about me.
What about other individuals, perhaps with kids, perhaps without, who can't? How should they feel when their elected representatives whinge about not getting another $6000 this year? Poor little Hugo's grammar school education might have to go on the credit card. Oh gosh! What about little Brayden or Jayden, who has to wear cheap nasty shoes this term because nice ones that are good for your feet are just too damn expensive. And yes I mock the stupid names people give their children, but I will never mock their financial situation.
Take your $127,060 and be god-damned grateful, parliamentarians. And you, white-collar folk - my mortgage repayments total half my wages each fortnight. Do yours? Are you on $70 000 a year or more? I know rents are high and mortgages difficult. I know you work hard for your money and you deserve it. I know you do, and I'm happy for you to earn mega-bucks. It shows personal determination, of some sort. But it's your choice to live where and how you do. So DON'T fricking complain to me if you're "doing it tough". Perhaps one one less gold-plated backscratcher, or nubile wench serving you truffles.
It's time we brought money out of the shadows and discussed it more. Stuff this attitude of "I earn enough" or "I'm comfortable". We're all still stuck in such a medieval Christian mindset when it comes to cold hard cash. It's supposed to be evil to desire it. But you know what? You fucking NEED it. You NEED it to LIVE. How can you make a freaking difference in the world, or to someone you love, if you can't afford to keep pace with prices? OK, it's evil. But it's a necessary one. Let's get it more out in the open, and confess our sin of coveting, and learn to be open about the flashing dollar signs in our eyes.
Now having said all that - can someone lend me $50?
Big business has apparently rejected Mr Rudd's call for wage restraint for executive salaries, claiming they have to offer lucrative deals to attract the best and brightest candidates. A fair point, one might say. The same argument could be made for parlimentarians - something along the lines of "pay peanuts, get monkeys".
What I'm looking for, though, is a definition of the term "peanuts". Because in my world, the base MP salary of $127,060 really doesn't qualify as "peanuts". In my world, $127,060 is "honey-roasted macadamias picked covered in gold leaf and served in a Faberge egg".
But Tony Abbott, always a man of the people (providing, of course, those people are BMW-driving, chai latte-sipping, multiple home-owning, stockmarket-investing, first class-travelling, Prada-wearing yuppie tossbags), has jumped into action. From AAP:
Former minister TONY ABBOTT says politicians are struggling to make ends meet on a backbencher's base salary of 127 thousand and 60 dollars.
Mr ABBOTT says they have all the normal expenses that families have .. and the only source of meeting those expenses is their parliamentary salaries.
I'm sorry, but what the fuck?!?!?
Now let's take into account rising inflation rates coupled with gigantic mortgages for multi-million dollar homes, and throw in private education expenses and other childcare costs. Sure, that's going to dent the pocket. But let's also take into account that MPs travel and many other expenses are covered by the taxpayer. Many will have leased Commonwealth cars, with petrol paid for by you and me. Fair enough - we're their boss, so we pay their expenses. But I'm sorry, my heart remains firmly un-bleeding for these people.
If you choose to enter politics, you should choose to do so with more than just financial benefit in mind. You're choosing to try to make a difference in people's lives. You should be well aware with any job of what your salary will be, and whether or not it meets your expectations and funds your lifestyle. If it doesn't - then just fuck off. Don't enter parliament claiming to be my representative then whinge about $127,060 a year.
I work in commercial radio journalism, which I'm sorry to say, is NEVER going to pay well. Other people my age are earning $60k, $80k easy in their public service and white-collar private sector jobs. Tradies earn bucketloads more. A guy who cleans cars at my brother's workplace earns more than me. My two degrees count for virtually nothing pay-wise (well, one is a BA, so I'll take the jokes on that).
So yeah, I get paid pretty shit wages. Sure, I don't have kids to add extra expenses (and I can tell you, there's a really good case of putting them off for much longer if not forever), but I still have increasing mortgage repayments to make and higher costs of petrol and groceries. Yeah, you're right. I probably could go and get another job that pays much better. I choose to stay where I am because I actually really do love the industry, and want to further my experience in it. So I can cope with all this. However, it's not all about me.
What about other individuals, perhaps with kids, perhaps without, who can't? How should they feel when their elected representatives whinge about not getting another $6000 this year? Poor little Hugo's grammar school education might have to go on the credit card. Oh gosh! What about little Brayden or Jayden, who has to wear cheap nasty shoes this term because nice ones that are good for your feet are just too damn expensive. And yes I mock the stupid names people give their children, but I will never mock their financial situation.
Take your $127,060 and be god-damned grateful, parliamentarians. And you, white-collar folk - my mortgage repayments total half my wages each fortnight. Do yours? Are you on $70 000 a year or more? I know rents are high and mortgages difficult. I know you work hard for your money and you deserve it. I know you do, and I'm happy for you to earn mega-bucks. It shows personal determination, of some sort. But it's your choice to live where and how you do. So DON'T fricking complain to me if you're "doing it tough". Perhaps one one less gold-plated backscratcher, or nubile wench serving you truffles.
It's time we brought money out of the shadows and discussed it more. Stuff this attitude of "I earn enough" or "I'm comfortable". We're all still stuck in such a medieval Christian mindset when it comes to cold hard cash. It's supposed to be evil to desire it. But you know what? You fucking NEED it. You NEED it to LIVE. How can you make a freaking difference in the world, or to someone you love, if you can't afford to keep pace with prices? OK, it's evil. But it's a necessary one. Let's get it more out in the open, and confess our sin of coveting, and learn to be open about the flashing dollar signs in our eyes.
Now having said all that - can someone lend me $50?
Feb 13, 2008
Sorry.
It's the very simple, but very important, first step on the long road to redress the wrongs of the past - and I for one am very happy to be sorry today.
Just as we can and should be proud of the achievements of Australians of days gone by, we can and should express regret and sorrow at the bad decisions and resulting negative consequences.
As the Prime Minister said this morning, "It's just the truth."
The truth is often unpalatable - but if we can't stand tall and look it in the eye, with no shallow protestions or meak defences, then we've got no business calling ourselves "Australians". Australians are supposed to talk straight. No bullshit, mate.
So from me - a white, first-generation, middle class, city-dwelling Australian - I'm sorry.
No bullshit, mate.
Just as we can and should be proud of the achievements of Australians of days gone by, we can and should express regret and sorrow at the bad decisions and resulting negative consequences.
As the Prime Minister said this morning, "It's just the truth."
The truth is often unpalatable - but if we can't stand tall and look it in the eye, with no shallow protestions or meak defences, then we've got no business calling ourselves "Australians". Australians are supposed to talk straight. No bullshit, mate.
So from me - a white, first-generation, middle class, city-dwelling Australian - I'm sorry.
No bullshit, mate.
Feb 9, 2008
Feb 7, 2008
Adventures with "Big" Things
Hi all - sorry for the delay in posting, but we've been sabotaged by deluges and bad internet connections since leaving Briz Vegas. My goodness, but the rain was soaking. We crossed roads with water over them on numerous occasions as we traversed through the Riverina and down towards the Hunter.
I'll do a post later about our AWESOME splelunking tour in the Jenolan Caves (I traversed the infamous "S-bend" and didn't get stuck!), but right now, here's some videos of us buggerising around at a couple of Australia's "big" things.
First: The Big Banana
Second: The Big Merino
I'll do a post later about our AWESOME splelunking tour in the Jenolan Caves (I traversed the infamous "S-bend" and didn't get stuck!), but right now, here's some videos of us buggerising around at a couple of Australia's "big" things.
First: The Big Banana
Second: The Big Merino
Feb 1, 2008
Skara Brae
You know what are frustrating? Cables. Why can't we be completely wireless already? I've been trying for days now to connect my digital video camera to my shiny new laptop, to see if I can get some movie magic happening (for upcoming holiday capers). But do you think I can assemble the right assortment of cables? Right now I've got more chance of hooking Britney Spears up with a Blue Card* than I have with hooding up my electronics.
I know it's the cables, because I can still hook up the DV cam to my old trusty PC, and produce works of cinematic brilliance like the following:
Skara Brae: one of the U.K.'s oldest Neolithic villages, on the main island of The Orkneys. Uncovered by a storm in 1850, it remains Europe's best preserved example of how life was like around 3000 B.C. And I'd be remiss not to mention The Wah's favourite aspect - the efficient drainage system. That's right, people. Flushing toilets. Who's calling them "primitive" now, huh?
*For the benefit of those NOT living in Queensland, Australia - a Blue Card is a licence to work with children. All teachers, child care workers etc must get one. And you know, Britney's not suitable to be around kids right now. Hence why the joke is funny. Dear God, I need a holiday.
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