I must admit to always being somewhat amused by The Wah's constant fear of a zombie uprising, or
zombiepocalypse if you will.
It's rare he does not enter a residence or building new to him and immediately scope out a preferred hasty-exit route, or if one cannot be found, a preferred hole-up location - just in case the zombiepocalypse decides to strike while he's at a house-warming or popping into the bank.
But perhaps I've been too quick to mock his paranoia. Perhaps the zombiepocalypse is coming sooner than expected.
What changed my mind? A small but significant discovery at the Milton IGA:
That's right - Zombie Chews. "Sour Strawberry" flavoured, as it happens. And the company that makes them?
Sweetmans. Oh, the irony. For impending zombie infection-by-candy is NOT sweet. Not sweet at all.
(As an aside, the Zombie Chews' slogan "Lot's a Fun!" is also not sweet. In fact, its flagrant inclusion of an unnecessary apostrophe is repellant; not to mention the faux-Italian use of "a" rather than "of".)
According to the garish pink packaging, Zombie Chews are a product of Turkey. What do our friends and old foes who bestride the Dardanelles know that we do not?
As you can tell, I have not sampled the sour strawberry horror of the Zombie Chews. I fear any ill effect suffered post-consumption will lead to The Wah cleaving my head in with the salad tongs (being as how we lack a meat cleaver in this mostly-vegetarian household).
But if this does mean the slow, rambling, brain-eating onset of the slow, rambling, brain-eating undead, then I shall begin preparing. And I will start by order a good seven-dozen cans of
this fantastic product.
In fact, I'm somewhat tempted to crack open a few cans of Tactical Canned Bacon well before the actual commencement of the zombiepocalypse. I mean, who doesn't want to eat 18 serves of preserved crispy bacon from a can? Even The Wah concedes once the undead hordes arrive, his vegetarian lifestyle is out the window. Perhaps I can tempt him with Tac Bac and eggs? Tac Bac with tomato & fusilli pasta? A Tac Bac double cheeseburger?
Musical comedy is nothing new; but nothing quite matches the powerhouse duo Die Roten Punkte for spot-on musical satire, hilarious stage personas and thumping good tunes.
Shadow puppetry is always engaging to watch, but it turns out looking at how the projections are made is equally as fascinating. Stick Stones Broken Bones is a Canadian one-man show that captivates you with the reality of puppetry, before charming you with the fantasy. It's a delight for all ages, and another stand-out of The Carnival's Edge program.
The Carnival's Edge is a wonderful place to wander around: there's fairy floss, a delicate carousel, spectacular tents and marquees. One of these is the Marquee de Sideshow, home to "roustabout and snake-oil seller" Paul Zenon - and to the funniest 15-minute show you'll see at the Brisbane Festival.
Lawrence Leung is among a new breed of Australian comedic storytellers; jesters with a plotline, if you like. His Choose Your Own Adventure TV series has its followers and detractors, but none can dispute Lawrence's warm delivery and earnestness. It's these qualities that apparently made Leung a great scam artist and card cheat. They're also the qualities that make Sucker an eye-opening and engaging part of The Carnival's Edge program.
The Boy With The Tape on His Face probably takes the award for the most intriguing show title of the Brisbane Festival. But the performance itself is far, far more interesting than its name - and provides the most whimsical hour of contemporary clowning, mime, puppetry and play that you're likely to have this year.
