Due to ongoing attempts to become the Briz Vegas-based reincarnation of Xena: Warrior Princess, I've been getting into fights with roving packs of street toughs again:
That nice big red welt is the latest addition to my ever-growing collection of scars and bruises. Its origins are in fact far more lame: I burned myself on a very hot pan while steaming some carrots and mushrooms. And they say vegetables are good for you.
My skin is rapidly becoming like the surface of some far off distant moon as photographed by the Voyager probe - all pock-marked and asteroid-damaged. Someday soon I'm going to have to run away to join a travelling freak show, and charge punters sixpence a viewing. Not to mention that combined with the mysterious brownish circular bruise below it - I now look like I have a giant exclamation mark carved in my flesh. My right arm couldn't be more surprised.
Has anybody else got some good scar stories? My crowning glory (literally) is the sharp six-centimetre one on the back of my head, suffered during a valiant battle with a trampoline aged 8, and now a talking point for hairdressers when they happen upon it during a trim. But the origins of most of my others are too embarrassing to repeat.
At least not before I get that sixpence.