Sep 5, 2008

Palin-drones

Gee, that Sarah Palin. She’s really whipped Americans of all political colours into a frenzy, hasn’t she?

I actually do find her rather engaging, despite disagreeing with her on key issues. Of course, I’m in another country, so that hardly matters.

But I’ve always wanted to coin a catchphrase, and I’ve decided Sarah Palin’s flag-wavin’, gun-totin’, choice-hatin’, God-fearin’ supporters deserve their own title. I’m suggesting “Palin-drones”. I’m sure you can assemble the definition in your own mind – something along the lines of the backwards thinking taking them forwards.

Palin-drones. Anybody?

(I’m surprised the Democrats haven’t gone with “Biden Time” for their VP pick, although I can see how that could be used to twist Senator Joseph Biden into some sort of twisted, Richard III-style president-in-waiting. An Iago to Barack Obama's Othello, if you like. Hmmm. That's possibly inappropriately too appropriate.)

Moreover, I've been baffled by the choice of names she and her husband have given their brood – Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. A Google search yielded this quote from Todd Palin, explaining their reasoning to People Magazine:

Sarah's parents were coaches and the whole family was involved in track and I was an athlete in high school, so with our first-born, I was, like, 'Track!' Bristol is named after Bristol Bay. That's where I grew up, that's where we commercial fish. Willow is a community there in Alaska. And then Piper, you know, there's just not too many Pipers out there and it's a cool name. And Trig is a Norse name for "strength."

Now I have no immediate plans to bear five children (or four and a grandchild, if you believe the conspiracy rumours). But I am interested to know what my own lil' bundles o' joy would be named if I were to follow this exact template.

First would be something I excelled in at high school. So break out the blue balloons for my eldest son DEBATING, because I was captain of that at St Paul’s. Next is ALBANY CREEK, because it’s where I grew up. Although you wouldn’t want to eat the fish out of the Pine River behind our place – not since they dammed Cash’s Crossing anyway. Ick.

Third is a community in Alaska. I found a map of Alaskan communities, and waggled my mouse over it until a friend said stop. It landed on YUKON-KOYUKUK, which adds a charming dash of Innuit to my little Aussie battler’s moniker. The requirements for kiddie number four’s name is that it be cool, and uncommon. I’m going to go with DINOSAUR.

Finally, bub the fifth. I went to this online translator, and plugged the word “strength” into the English to Norwegian translator. I chose Norwegian as it’s Scandanavian, and has “Nor” in it, which I figure is close enough to Norse.

The response is the name for my last little one: NO MATCHES FOUND.

Did you read that? According to the internet, Norwegians don’t have a word for strength.

I have no idea how they power those bobsleds at the Winter Olympics.

But anyway. That’s my little family, my very own Palin-drones. I look forward to birthing them in screaming agony, and naming them amidst the mocking laughter of my learned fellows.

38 comments:

  1. Unsurprisingly thinking about naming children has recently become quite important to me. I see that I have quite a responsibility ahead of me.

    Some people stymie me with their logic in name choosing, but some are much more easy to live with that others... I'm thinking of the news story from earlier this year about the girl named "Talulah Does the Hula From Hawaii", who was actually from New Zealand...

    and then there is the spelling of names like:

    Typhanniii, Genifa, Kymberleigh, Jessyka, Sharlot, Emmaleigh, Mersaydees, Jaymz, Madesyn, Kaytlyn, Mackaylah, Kaylyb, Jazzmyn, Kloey, Clowey, Tawri, Franswa, Maekenzee/Makynzi, Deztini, Jaycen and the list goes on


    (I didn't make those names up either, found them on the baby forum I go to)

    Makes "Track" sound positively reasonable...

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  2. Palin-drones? Consider it pilfered. Hopefully it will be coined.

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  3. First person to call their Son or Daughter "No Matches Found", I'll give them $20!

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  4. If they died in a house fire would that be ironic?

    hmmm

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  5. It looks like ABC presenter Spencer Howson has picked up your idea!

    www.spencerhowson.com

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  6. An Iago to Barack Obama's Othello, I blew coffee out of my nose laughing when I read that evil woman.

    Great idea btw,both the child naming and the Palin-drones, too good not to steal I say.

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  7. Thanks Barnesm, although I wondered if I was being too evil with that line as well!

    And Crazy Cat Lady - please, just stick to Mary, or John, or Paul, or Lucy. So simple, will never get misspelled, will never go out of style, and will never look completely bogan! ;)

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  8. I shall be doing my best to use 'Palin-drones' in intelligent conversation.

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  9. mmmm

    seems a lot of people have a certain view on sarah palin..

    interesting..

    are you scared of this incredable woman?

    how precious you are..when the american people start listening to the small minded tall poppy aussies who seem to be alive and well down here
    then i'll realise das end is near..

    drones..no..that word would be more apt to a lot of the staff at 4bc..
    their either droning..talking thru their noses or slurping..

    will someone please give danielle at 4bc a good feed of meat though i guess she would still pale into insignificance just like her complexion..

    palins kids names..ooh please give me a break..now whats the black guys name on the democratic ticket?..oh yes..barrack!!!

    im sure you'd rescue them in a house fire pal and you'd be the last 1 out..just make sure you close the door before you exit..

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  10. Geoff
    I always start worrying when anybody, be they male or female, supports the NRA in the USA.
    And the thought of someone like that having their fingers near the BIG RED button. scares the bejeebers out of me.
    Charlton Heston said they would have to take his gun from his cold. dead, hand.
    My only thought on that is sooner rather than later.
    And we thought the two Bushes were strange???
    Oh, and by the, incredible is spelt incredible and Barak is spelt Barak (I think)
    Regards
    Allen

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  11. thnx alan for the spelling checks..

    i know where your coming from re.. the nra..

    but hey just because your a member doesnt make you a hardcore shooting nut..those people concern me as well but just as long as i dont dress up as a moose im sure i'll never be in their sights..
    if you gave me the choice between a republican member of the nra and a north korean generalissimo with the big red button at their fingertips...i'd choose the former

    cheers alan

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  12. Geoff,

    Putting aside the political views of this Palin person, there is a big difference between the strange names she gave her offspring and Barack Obama.

    'How so?', I hear you scoff as you quickly write down another 'witty' insult of 4BC.

    Barack Obama father's name is Barack Obama Snr. Barack Obama Snr is a man from Kenya. The name Barack in Kenya is not strange at all. It is a name culturally appropriate. So the Democratic presidential candidate has a culturally appropriate name passed down from his dad.

    What is strange is a child born to upper-middle class american parents being called 'Track' or 'Trig'. I suppose you could argue they are culturally appropriate but let's face it.. they're not. They are another example of parents lumbering their brood with ridiculous names in an attempt to make them more interesting.

    An individual (re: silly) name does not an interesting person make.

    Remember kiddies, a name isn't just for christmas.. it's for life

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  13. hmmm

    so a name thats culturally appropriate makes it right?

    thats witty

    direct your attack at nat..not me..she bagged the names of palins children..i bagged the name of obama...cop it sweet.
    matters little regarding his heritage..even if his dad was the king of kenya..irrelevant i feel..he's running for president of the united states..not kenya..
    culture has a lot to answer for!!

    bye the way..im 4bc's biggest fan..i should have said..some staff..
    also..obama could buy and sell sarah palin many times over since you seem to place a lot of credence in the classes of people..this must make him mega elitist class..

    but good on him..i dont have a problem with wealthy people..

    now now they dont have names for life as theirs an escape clause guised as deed poll..i agree with you in regard to parents naming their kids certain names to make them more interesting..

    gosh i love this site

    cheers

    p.s..if your politicaly correct then your not correct because the first casualty is the truth

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  14. oh and

    whats the name your using here?

    are you trying to make yourself sound interesting?

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  15. I think tha most Yanks are nuts.
    Somebody (anybody???) says:"I want to be your president. Please send me some money so that I can win.
    And the Schmucks send in the cash to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars.(over $600mil for Obama so far)
    It seems to prove the point that you can fool some of the people all of the time (or at least every four years)
    And yes, I do know that Australian political parties get money from the coffers (hasn't Pauline done well out of that) and I don't like that.
    Tighten up the laws and surveillance and let them try and get donationsTruly it is written: Walk small and carry a big stick
    Regards
    Allen

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  16. Just another thing, maybe Ms Palin had a penchant for Greek history...
    Maybe Trig is short for Trigonometry...
    MAybe she also has a thing for Railways and Track has evolved from Amtrak...
    Just a thought
    Regards
    Allen

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  17. "so a name thats culturally appropriate makes it right?"

    um.. yep. It wasn't a witty line. It's just the truth.

    If you can't see that then we really have no common ground.

    Your name comes from a long line of cultural connections going back, in some cases, thousands of years. Just because you are blind to the cultural connections and connotations embedded in your own name does not make them non-existent.

    This isn't political correctness, this is just history.

    It is the sign of the fearful to call everything they don't understand or dislike "political correctness gone mad". The world will never fit the way you want it, and the sign of an adult is to try and understand it and not dismiss it as 'political correctness gone mad" (I know you didn't use those words.. but you want to.. go on... admit it)

    Before you rattle off a 'cop it sweet' knee-jerk reply I want you to actually think about what I am saying. Try to understand the viewpoint and not just strike back with the usual 'you suck' reply.

    and yep.. I have a nickname different to the one my parents gave me. It is a nick name I treasure because it was a name I earned, given to me by a friend. The hows and whys are none of your business but you will have to take my word for it when I say I don't need a name to make me interesting.

    On the class issue. Don't try and twist what I was saying. You either know what I was getting at and are being obtuse or you don't get it and nothing I can say will enlighten you.

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  18. relax

    take a deep breath

    a lie down

    a pill if necessary.perhaps a green 1?

    and dont take life to seriously

    thanks for your you suck reply..

    you'd put a pro in the valley to shame

    try practising what you preach

    sensitive 1

    cheers

    p.s.open up your mind just a little re. culture..tunnel vision's not a good thing unless your superman looking for a crook..history is full of culture and as i said...it has a lot to answer for..

    fact...

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  19. hey i agree allen

    obscene the amount of money they donate over there.can you imagine how many hospital wards they could build let alone hospitals if they redirected donated funds to the medical field?

    oh and our kevi is holding another summit..the rudd government has certainly hit the ground..reviewing..

    yes allen perhaps she loves trains?

    she's made a few gaffe's but she certainly prevokes thought..i wonder what brand of lipstick she uses?

    cheers

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  20. No doubt, Womans Day or World or whatever will breathlessly apprise us of her choices of lipstick, lingerie and "ladies hygiene products" and whatever else sells magazines
    Qh Please God, for this reason alone, don't let the Democrats win.
    Regards
    Allen

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  21. Oops...
    possibly a very Freudian slip
    But no, It is definitely time for the Republicans to get out and let in those who want to improve the lot of the average joe Have a read of Bill Clintons Autbiography. No matter his after hours activities, you will get a very good insight into politics in the US
    I really want the Democrats to win.
    Regards
    Allen

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  22. geeze allen

    they may win at that

    perhaps barack may appoint monica

    the interior HEAD of state

    cheers champ

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  23. Sorry Geoff,
    My beef is with the Republicans.
    On the whole they are a group (party?) that considers themselves to be above the average worker who, they believe, should be happy with what they may get from trickle down economics.
    Have a look at what is happening in the US at present. 20 million houses empty, people living (?) in tent citys and where does the money go? Well for a start $800mil to stop a bank going belly up. At a time when 80year olds will be stuggling around on bunioned feet at 6 am in Dennys because their government doesn't want to give them a pension
    Hopefully Australia will never get as uncaring as that
    Hand even though they may not be able to keep their hands off the temps the Democrats will be better for the US (As I said read the Autobiography)
    Regards
    Allen

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  24. yeah allen good point and i cant argue with you

    its incredible whats going on over there at the moment..

    but i really dont believe regardless who's in power that they have a huge affect on financial markets although the united states is really THE financial market..

    if obama is elected i'll watch with anticipation how he'll turn it around..

    i hope he does...

    by the way ..the aussie economy is the envy of the world..ATM..

    cheers

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  25. though allen

    did jfk..jimmy carter or bill clinton make the pension a reality?


    cheers

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  26. Point taken Geoff.
    The Yanks seem to have a great dislike for any kind of welfare state
    However, you will find that (generally speaking) The Republicans tend toward deficit budgetting as they try to be the worlds policeman. Deficit budgeting tends to lead, after some time, to inflation and recession (consider; the US annual defence budget is approx. $400 bill pa. The next nearest is China (and lets face it they don't seem to mind spending on defence !!) and their total is ???.... about $50 bill pa)
    No the Dems didn't make pensions a reality per se but at least the Democrats have, in the past, seemed to get the US budget into positive territory which, enabled them to improve the lot of the blue collar workers which, improved the unemployment situation which put more money into the system etc. etc.
    Yes I agree that Wall street is where it is at and, at present it is sneezing a lot but,in not too many decades the US will be No3 on the list with China and India leading the charge and then what will they do?
    Already the OPEC nations would like to change the international oil price per barrel to Euro's can you imagine the fun and games it that happens
    Regards
    Allen

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  27. Hey Nat,
    Sorry about this ongoing US discussion on your blog it should be taken somwhere else
    Regards
    Allen

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  28. my apologies as well nat

    yes wen it comes 2 surpluses..the dems and the liberals have quite a bit in common

    and as being the worlds policeman

    i wish countries would stop asking them 2 b

    cheers

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  29. Hey guys,

    Debate away! I love it - I've now reached 30 comments on this blog for the first time - hooray!

    I'm thinking of doing a politics/markets related post soon, so stick around. Hopefully I'll do some actual research and make it reasonably well-informed.

    Cheers, Nat.

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  30. nat that would be terrific

    you'd have to be the most well informed news reader/comic/wannabe actress/traveller/film maker/scratchie winner/producer/director/blog creating chicky babe ive never met

    cheers

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  31. Actually Geoff I am not a great fan of billion Dollar surpluses (about $24 bill in the Oz kitty at present)
    It seems to me that both sides of politics in Oz today are trying to prove that mine is bigger yours (a la surpluses of course)
    My question is, when did government become big business?
    When did it become necessary for government to make a (larger & larger) surplus each year.
    I have no beef with a minor (couple of hundred mill) surplus but when they get into the billions then something is going very wrong.
    Especially when single pensioners are expected to live on about $270 per week(stop press... they have just got a $12 pw increase(at least now they will starve at a slower rate))
    When the top three in government(Rudd, Swan & Gillard) say they could not live a single pension (WOW there's a surprise)and Turnbull doesn't have to worry in that regard as he is worth about $140 mill (although he is still not averse to claiming living away from home allowance while cooped in his wife's million dollar mansion overlooking the lake) You have to ask why do the pensioners have to wait until next year to get some assistance?
    So lets make a list:
    Health No good, needs cash
    Education No good, needs cash
    Infrastructure No good, needs cash
    Surplus $24 bill ?????
    Is it just me or, is there something amiss?
    Regards
    Allen

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  32. Great news Nat
    I look forward to it
    Maybe you could call it Mind Meanderings of CHICKY BABE ! !!
    Well maybe not
    Regards
    Allen

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  33. hey allen

    i guess what their really saying is they dont really give a stuff about the pensioners

    without actually saying it

    cheers

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  34. peter garrett is certainly not short of a quid either

    it would be interesting how much he's actually spent of his own dosh re.the environment..

    r these greens really fair dinkum?

    naa

    cheers

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  35. Geoff,
    I feel that politicians care a lot about the disadvantaged unfortunately, they care along the lines of procedure and how it affects them relative to other interest groups wanting their share of the pot.
    My concern is that they can't see the major social problem blowing up around them because they are fixated on the Taxation report scheduled for February
    I think the Greens do care for the environment but, unfortunately they care so much they want to have everything done immediately (mainly, I think, because they know that they have a better chance with Labor and that they will get sweet fa once the Libs take over again)
    I don't know what Peter Garrett is worth but I don't think he should be expected to put it into the environment (unless he wants to)
    I am more concerned at the article in the Courier Mail today (front page(of course)) in relation to State members fiddling their daily expenses ( if there is a way that they can get a snout into the trough they will find it (don't you worry about that)
    Regards
    Allen

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  36. point taken allen

    oh my gosh nat

    u sound so depressed reading the news lately

    hope your feeling well?

    cheers

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  37. hmm... I came in to let you know I saw this blog post advertised on news.com.au:

    http://blogs.news.com.au/starsnsnipes/index.php/news/comments/send_in_the_palindrones/

    and found a whole weird comment debate!

    I thought you might like a palindrone reference :)

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