Mar 2, 2009

Bless you, Warwick Capper

The last I heard of Warwick Capper, he was making porn flicks with his girlfriend. Now - he's running for office.

That's right, He of the Long Blond Locks is running for the seat of Beaudesert in the March 21 state election. This means he'll be going head-to-head, mano-a-mano with Pauline Hanson herself, as well as the LNP and ALP candidates. So that'll be two lobotomy victims, plus Capper and Hanson.


Sorry. Anyways, Warwick hit the airwaves this morning to talk up his vision for Beaudesert. His priorities are helping drought-stricken farmers, and imposing an 11pm curfew to because "there's too many fights between the multicultural people and the whites out there". As for Beaudesert itself: "I wouldn't live out there `cos there's too many flies, but I'll go out there a couple of times a week and campaign and do what I could," he said. He also challenged Hanson to a cook-off - she can bring her fish 'n' chips, and he'll bring his new "Warwick Cappucinos". To top it all off, his campaign is being paid for by Zoo Magazine, and he'll be having an official launch tomorrow surrounded by a bevy of bikini-clad babes.

Bless. No really, bless his little cotton socks.

I am inspired and rejuvenated by seeing democracy in action like this. So inspired, in fact, that I have invented a new internet meme, which I think, is going to go hog-wild (much like Warwick in his last Adults Only special). Please feel free to join in at home and create your own - LOLCAPZ!


  1. Thank fuck somebody's prepared to put the entertainment back into Qld politics. I'd vote for the bastard on those grounds alone. Mind you, his curfew idea is stupid. What he really needs is some sort of electro-bracelet thingy that goes on everybody in Beaudesert shire who's had a write-up for biffo. And then, see, you set the bracelets so that the closer any two of them get to each other, the more violently they start shocking the owners.

    That way, if they REALLY wanted to fight, they probably still could -- but they'd look like a pair of epileptics, having spasms every time the bracelets went ZAPPO!

  2. I haz no pantz and no IQ?

    I shud be preemiar of QLD.

  3. Thanks to the dearly departed genius of Richard Marsland, Warwick Capper has provided me with a lot of entertainment. I'd vote for him purely for that fact that it would please Tony Martin no end. Oh if only 'Get This' were still on, what a comedy goldmine they would have made of a bout between Hanson and Capper.

    Remember me? I was the biggest thing in the 80s.

  4. Flinthart. You are So. Right. Rock 'em, shock 'em campaign. Awesometown.

    Andy Man - all I can say is LOLZ. If you go to the I can Haz Cheezburger site, you can upload your own Warrick Capper picture and make your own LolCapz. Maybe I should run a competition?!?!

    Rebus - yes, yes, yes. "Get This" lives on in all of us mad keen fanboy types. As for the 80s - wasn't that when a bright young band called "Bros", were getting ready to conquer the globe?

  5. Didn't he try running for Major of the Gold Coast at one point? How smart do you need to be to hold a position in the government? I honestly have no idea of what actual duties you'd need to perform. Paperwork? Spreadsheets? Yelling at people?

  6. What an idiot. Are the people of Beaudesert stupid enough to vote for this clown?

  7. The answer Gwen is, unfortunately, yes especially if he is really going to impose a curfew as he seems to be suggesting

    I would like to add something to Flinthart's bracelet idea. Can they have a transmitter which will send to a receiver in a bracelet which will be attached to a delicate part of Mr Capper (pick whatever comes to mind first)? That way the putative member for Beaudesert will be the first to know when combatants are getting it on and he will be able to spring into action. With the right amperage his spring should be a sight to see.

    On a brighter note at least now there is a reason to stay tuned to the election. The laughs have, at last, come to the surface. Larry will have to up the ante to naked Hip Hop ironing and Ann must consider pole dancing on the Parliament House flagpole
    Nineteen days to go people

  8. Makes you wonder which 'icon' is going to put their hands up next. But as you said, definately not boring this time around.

  9. Oh yeah, like I need to hear this the night before I go back to Beaudesert for a few days! I'm already worried they're going to lynch me because I have tattoos, let alone this!

  10. Oh sure, here in Illinois we get the crooks wanting to run things. Queensland gets something of the Australian version of Dennis Rodman.

    Where do I sign up to live in Australia?

  11. "there's too many fights between the multicultural people and the whites out there"

    Did he REALLY say that?.

    I actually, and seriously, don't understand a damn word the man says. Must be because I'm one of them thar multi-cul-tur-al people.

    Seriously, is that him being PC?.

  12. Considering when they asked him how to spell "Beaudesert", he replied "Gee, that's a tough one... B... A..."

    No, Warwick. But you started well, so we'll give you that.

    I don't honestly think anybody will vote for him, but at least it's funny. And this election campaign needs more of the funny!

  13. Damn pity he didn't go for the seat of Southern Downs...Warwick would have some trouble with the words of Warwick and Goondiwindi

  14. I almsot feel sorry for the LNP and ALp candidates, they are going to get no air time at all!!! he he he

  15. Capper didn't get his nomination in one time.


    There goes the election fun.

  16. Oh, Warwick. It was fun while it lasted.

  17. oh I do not know what to say, I do not like this kind of post, what I like is bikini girl posts LOL