Jun 22, 2009

Pigs & Birds

I'm just going to show you this photo...

...and let you make up your own joke captions. Extra points if you can do something original with "swine flu".

I met this perky pink porker at the Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre, where I did the last of my MC gigs for the Queensland Firebirds. I've been hosting the pre-game corporate functions for the side's home games. It's been a lot of fun. I've redeveloped an interest in netball, a game I last played as an 11-year-old. Boy, things are different since my days in the GK bib. Players are tall, lithe, quick, nimble and aggressive (in a good way). And the sport is run by people who actually care about the players and the sport's reputation.

Plus they chuck free blue mini-netballs and frisbees into the crowd during the quarter-time breaks.

Netballers can't rely on their sporting salaries to survive; most work full or part-time jobs elsewhere. However, it was revealed at tonight's function that the current ANZ Championship series has recorded higher TV viewing figures on average than both the A-League football and the Super 14 - both of which have much bigger piggy banks than the fellow pictured above.

So if you're looking for a sport to get behind that's full of competitive spirit, action and goodwill, you could do worse than try netball.

There was a moment in the foyer this evening which confirmed one of my own personal maxims - that where there is a person inside a full-size animal costume, there are children keen to beat the shit out of them. Sadly I was too late on the record button to capture the attempted piggy thrashing, so instead, enjoy some funky pig dancing:


  1. Girl Clumsy poses with the World Pork Association's latest marketing program, "See, Muslims, Pigs Aren't THAT bad!"

  2. Actually think it's pretty awesome how the ANZ Champs has disproven all the tired old cliches (usually propagated by white male TV execs) about how womens sport doesn't rate and noone wants to watch it etc. As an avowed sports junkie who has started watching, and enjoying, the netball this year, have to say I'm really impressed with the product they're putting out on court, particularly the Firebirds.

    And not just because Laura Geitz is a slammin' hottie either.

  3. That piggy looks suspiciously like he wants to sex you up, GC. Damned sexy pigs.

  4. Dr Yobbo - for me, it's Romelda Aitkin, the Firebirds' Jamaican goal shooter. I do not believe she actually has a torso. She is simply two very long legs, that attach to arms at the shoulders.

    Jamin - It was a very sexy pig. A very sexy, ANZ-sponsored, corporate pig. Awww, yeah.

  5. Swineflu latest - Now causing giagantism in pigs or dwarfism in reporters, scientists investigating.

  6. "something original with "swine flu" - I got nothing.

    great piece, and hopefully more support coming the way of the young girls netball now.

    "Boy, things are different since my days in the GK bib. Players are tall, lithe, quick, nimble and aggressive" so how was the sport in your day 'grandma'?

  7. Nautilus - ha! So far you lead on headlines.

    Barnesm - generally there was a lot more slacking off down my end of the court. Unless the other team was a whole lot better than us, in which case there was unending and perenially unsuccessful tippy-toe defence moves.

    And I could never run like the Firebirds run!

  8. "Local reporter embraces bacon addiction."

    Admitting it is the first step on the path to recovery.

  9. "Local reporter goes the extra mile to report on the symptons of swine flu and it's effects on partners and rellies"
    warning don't try this at home kids...

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  11. You Little Bastard! You've Killed Us All! - The Sequel

    You Little Bastard!

  12. Voice off:
    :And this is GC saying goodbye from Firebirds Phoenix Arena"

    Sound effect:
    Loud large and very wet ATISHOOO
    Sotto Voice off:
    "Can someone get abput 5000 towels for the spectators...
    The Ancient Man