Now those of you who know Havock might have been as surprised as I was by the absence of invectives such as FKN and MUPPETS. I didn't really understand what he was getting at, even when he offered the follow-up tweet:
"I swear the chickie babe looked like you on TV before, ya got a twin! lol"
I thought perhaps Havock had just spliced the mainbrace one too many times, but about an hour later, I received a text message from my friend Clare, exclaiming that she'd just seen me on Today Tonight talking about scratchies.
It turns out the good folk at Channel Seven's flagship current affairs program had decided to do a story on instant scratchie winners, and had included me as one of the "talent".
Only thing is - I did that interview FOUR years ago. Four! Early 2007. I remember because I'd not long been back in the country after a foreign sojourn. It explains the dodgy short haircut I was growing out:
|Thanks to @EvanOnTheGC for |
capturing this awful, awful freezeframe.
What a completely terrible head that is. That's just appalling. Look - here's a GIF I made of me pulling a series of grimaces which are STILL more attractive than the head featured on national television this evening:
I'm just a bit confused about the situation. Yes, I won some money on a scratchie. It was a fair while ago - before I even started this website. Is a four-year-old interview about something that happened seven years ago still relevant? Still, you know, a current affair?
I don't want to slag my fellow media professionals too much, because I honestly believe shows like A Current Affair and Today Tonight have their place in the TV line-up. Sure, watching them is probably like having sex with a priest - a bit wrong and not for the under 16s - but they provide a service. I mean, you can't go getting all your shopping advice from the Brand Power lady.
See, see! I said I wouldn't slag them off, and I just did it anyway. Naughty Clumsy.
Let's face it, maybe it's a situation where recycling old interviews is an efficient use of resources.
I mean, winning money on a scratchie is p-r-e-t-t-y much how you'd imagine it. There's the "BULLSHIT NO WAY" factor, then the "THIS IS F***ING AWESOME" high, then the "OMG I CAN BUY EVERYTHING" dizziness, then the "OH NO WAIT I CAN'T REALLY BUY EVERYTHING" comedown, then the "I SHOULD REALLY BE SENSIBLE ABOUT THIS" speech you give yourself after your Dad insists on going to the bank manager THAT AFTERNOON to tie up the money in some sort of digital Fort Knox to STOP YOU GETTING AT IT YOU IRRESPONSIBLE DAUGHTER AND ALSO YOU SHOULD GO TO BED EARLIER AND CLEAN UP MORE.
Well, that was certainly MY experience.
My point is - and I do have one, albeit a loose, esoteric one - is that I'm still alive, y'know? You could come and interview me now, Today Tonight. At the VERY least, I'd have nicer hair. Surely that would be better for your ratings?