Feb 16, 2011

Scratched & Recycled

It started with Havock tweeting me late this afternoon with: "Was that you on the Scratchy bit on the news?"

Now those of you who know Havock might have been as surprised as I was by the absence of invectives such as FKN and MUPPETS. I didn't really understand what he was getting at, even when he offered the follow-up tweet:

"I swear the chickie babe looked like you on TV before, ya got a twin! lol"

I thought perhaps Havock had just spliced the mainbrace one too many times, but about an hour later, I received a text message from my friend Clare, exclaiming that she'd just seen me on Today Tonight talking about scratchies.

It turns out the good folk at Channel Seven's flagship current affairs program had decided to do a story on instant scratchie winners, and had included me as one of the "talent".

Only thing is - I did that interview FOUR years ago. Four! Early 2007. I remember because I'd not long been back in the country after a foreign sojourn. It explains the dodgy short haircut I was growing out:

Thanks to @EvanOnTheGC for
capturing this awful, awful freezeframe.

What a completely terrible head that is. That's just appalling. Look - here's a GIF I made of me pulling a series of grimaces which are STILL more attractive than the head featured on national television this evening:

GIF animations generator gifup.com

I'm just a bit confused about the situation. Yes, I won some money on a scratchie. It was a fair while ago - before I even started this website. Is a four-year-old interview about something that happened seven years ago still relevant? Still, you know, a current affair?

I don't want to slag my fellow media professionals too much, because I honestly believe shows like A Current Affair and Today Tonight have their place in the TV line-up. Sure, watching them is probably like having sex with a priest - a bit wrong and not for the under 16s - but they provide a service. I mean, you can't go getting all your shopping advice from the Brand Power lady.

See, see! I said I wouldn't slag them off, and I just did it anyway. Naughty Clumsy.

Let's face it, maybe it's a situation where recycling old interviews is an efficient use of resources.

I mean, winning money on a scratchie is p-r-e-t-t-y much how you'd imagine it. There's the "BULLSHIT NO WAY" factor, then the "THIS IS F***ING AWESOME" high, then the "OMG I CAN BUY EVERYTHING" dizziness, then the "OH NO WAIT I CAN'T REALLY BUY EVERYTHING" comedown, then the "I SHOULD REALLY BE SENSIBLE ABOUT THIS" speech you give yourself after your Dad insists on going to the bank manager THAT AFTERNOON to tie up the money in some sort of digital Fort Knox to STOP YOU GETTING AT IT YOU IRRESPONSIBLE DAUGHTER AND ALSO YOU SHOULD GO TO BED EARLIER AND CLEAN UP MORE.

Well, that was certainly MY experience.

My point is - and I do have one, albeit a loose, esoteric one - is that I'm still alive, y'know? You could come and interview me now, Today Tonight. At the VERY least, I'd have nicer hair. Surely that would be better for your ratings?


  1. Maybe you can land a part on Home and Away

  2. ...as the new hairdresser in Summer Bay! You can surf in on an awesome wave!

  3. Question: What's a mainbrace?

    This is one reason I will never go on tv... I'm positive I will look back on it and think: What the bloody stars was I thinking when I did that to myself?

  4. Its like recycling Youtube clips. In 2012 some ACA researcher will retweet a call for scratchie winners. In ten years, it'll happen again. Since when did the wishes, feelings or desire of the subject have any impact on showing file footage when there's ratings to be had? Front Line did it best. I'm sorry they did it to you but I'm not at all surprised. At least you have the media savvy to deal with it and deal well. Pick a card, any card ...

  5. "It started with Havock tweeting me late this afternoon"... thats never going to end well

    You looked adorable on TV.

    You mean the stuff on 'A Current Affair' isn't current? I'll have to start watching it, so I can stop watching it in protest.

  6. Nat,

    Training to be a Journalist is tough. Fun at times, but tough. I don't know how you do it and live life so happily. I want to cryyy! Perhaps today's just a bad day. :(

  7. The same thing happened to me. I got dragged along to a protest by my hippie parents and I had an adorable little sign that stated "No Pipeline". I would have been about 9.

    8 years later I was in high school and the same dorky little grin was suddenly gracing screen across the state.

    Oh well. It could have been worse. I had a school mate who was appearing on reruns of "Now You See It".

  8. I will comment on this...in 11 years or so.

    xoxoxo, cd

  9. congrats on your win LOL....
    but...uurgh...don't tell me this... my family did an ACA interview about sea/tree changes about 4 years ago, they thought we were hilarious and turned it from a serious story to a funny one about us and the townspeople here were out with the flaming pitch torches and forks(we said the town was boring.. )Yes that was us with the pin and the map under the multi signed post.....
    we still live there...

  10. SEE..the ALMIGHTY FKN HAVOCK GOD comes through AGAIN!..jesus I am fkn good...or is that GOD GOOD...lol

    AND...the BRAND POWER CHICK..well the switch to the new one was a FKN DISASTER..nowhere near as fkn jumpable in my book...

  11. Nice GIF, it's almost like actually having you right here with a bad nervous tic!