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| Dan Beeston used his own stash of My Family stickers to mock this up. |
Campbell Newman and the LNP romped it in, scoring more seats than James Bond at Ikea.
Everyone was expecting an emphatic LNP victory, except the nice hairdresser I went to on Friday evening after finally getting off the campaign bus.
"But surely anything could still happen?" she said.
"Universally, yes," I replied. "But the polling techniques they have these days are just too accurate. And just a little more off the bottom, please."
But nobody thought it would be so devastating for Labor, that you couldn't even use the word "decimation" in a grammatically correct way (while I'm not good with the maths, I'm pretty sure they lost more than one in ten MPs). Annihilation is more likely. Holocaust is probably going too far (it generally always is).
This morning I spoke with Dr Paul Williams, a political and media analyst from Griffith University. We chatted about the strange parliament Queensland will now have, including the challenges Mr Newman will have making sure all of his 77 or so MPs have plenty of work and stay out of trouble, and the risk a tiny opposition will not be able to adequately scrutinise legislation.
His killer line came at the very end of the interview, when we were discussing how long Labor will be in the electoral wilderness, cowering from wolves and subsisting on frozen Siberian tiger droppings:
"When people say that the next Labor premier isn't even in parliament yet... I might be cynical when I say this, but perhaps the next Labor premier hasn't even finished school."
DAMN.
In Queensland, once you're gone, you're gone for a LONG time. There were ten James Bond movies produced during the time Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen was Premier, before Queenslanders got a chance to enjoy 1989's Licence to Kill unencumbered by a sternly Lutheran but ethically flexible moral code.
It's likely we'll now see at least another four Bond movies (and at least one more Bond actor) before Labor can attempt to regain power.
It boggles the mind. I mean, can you even imagine someone not Daniel Craig as Bond?
Labor came close to losing the 2009 election; and frankly now probably wishes it had. It wouldn't have won this time around, but the destruction wouldn't have been so complete.
In the end, Anna Bligh's leadership during the floods and cyclones last year - while respected - came to nought. People had already drawn their plans against her. Asset sales seems to have been the biggest issue, followed closely by ongoing problems in Queensland Health. Campaign-wise, the ALP's been universally condemned for going in so hard on Mr Newman, his family and business interests. The mud stuck, but to the wrong side.
Labor has seemingly lost its base. At her concession speech in the ALP HQ in South Brisbane on Saturday night, there seemed to be no "True Believers" amongst the crowd. They were all twenty-somethings. Has the "working man/woman" had enough? Or was time in government a hump they just couldn't get over?
I'm interested in your take on the state election, and why you think the result unfolded the way it did. What do you think Labor needs to do now, given they've only got seven or eight MPs, a decreasing membership base, and a whole lotta wolves out there?
