1. I received an invitation to my 10-year high school reunion. How can I face that crowd? It's bad enough I'm not off gallavanting overseas (hence giving me a good excuse to say "No way, Jose!"), I'm about 10kgs too big for a reunion, and have yet to achieve my goals of world domination and uber-fame. I will just be going as Natalie - that big-haired, attention-seeking chick who talks on the radio.
2. I joined Facebook. Now if there's one place you're BOUND to link up with people you'd managed to forget existed it's there. I've seen profiles of people I haven't thought about in over half a decade. And of course, they're all off overseas, or working funky jobs, doing this, doing that - basically having lives ten times more exciting than mine.
You see, my inbuilt green-eyed monster kinda resembles Godzilla. God help me if I ever go nuclear - I'll be crushing Tokyo in no time. To be honest, I really do love what I have in my life and am proud of my achievements. But my problem is I believe I could have/should have done more - much more. Much, much more. For example:
- I am not a ultra-glamourous yet highly respected actor. Why is that?
- I am not hosting my own radio and/or TV show. What happened there?
- I do not have my own clothing/shoe/make-up line. Any clues?
- I do not have my doctorate in English literature or history. I mean, come on!
- I have not published an amusing chick-lit book that's serialised in New Idea. Gah?
- I am not running a charitible orphanage in Africa. (OK, fine, I just added that to look noble).
So, gentle readers, what do I do? Do I avoid the reunion, or will I regret it? Do I seek out "school" people on Facebook, or preserve my sanity and concentrate on drawing graffiti pictures for current amigos?
There is one thing for certain though - it's crash diet time. If I can drop five kilos between now and the reunion, at least I might feel confident about how I look. Oh my goodness... I think I just heard the sound of my last sensible brain cell dribbling out of my left ear...