Oct 8, 2007

Cliched Girly Crisis!

Bumming around Chez Clumsy on my day off today, I decided to put some thought into the dreaded high school reunion, coming up this Saturday night.

Despite all my fears about said reunion, I had calmed down a lot about it in recent weeks - mainly because I've been so busy with the three Ws (work, writing and Wii) to expend valuable energy stressing over it. It's also not going to be as nerve-wracking for me, as thanks to the Brisbane Central by-election, which I've been rostered on to cover, I won't be arriving at said shindig until at least 10pm.

The reunion's getting underway at 6pm, which, if you ask me, is an absurdly early time. So by 10pm, whoever's left will be so trashed they probably won't even recognise me.

However, this bonus doesn't stop me fretting about the increasing differentiation between my high school body and my current train wreck of a figure. My efforts at a crash diet back in August failed miserably (I wasn't terribly surprised). My grand plans to go walking every day have been undermined by, again, those three Ws, plus my stellar inbuilt laziness chip. Therefore I shall be going to the union at quite possibly the heaviest I have been.

Now I don't know this because of scales (although I have been terrified when I've popped onto a set while shopping at Target). I know this because waaaaay back in February or March, I purchased a $10 black dress from a Valley Girl closing down sale. It fit quite well, at obviously was an awesome bargain. But today, I tried on that dress again - for the first time since the initial purchase - and it's tight around the waist and boobies. Noticeably tight. My torso resembles two fat pancakes flung againt a bean bag. Not a good look. I tried on another dress - one I've only worn once, to a friend's wedding. Slightly better, but still noticeably tighter around the top.

So now I'm in a high-school reunion clothing decision dilemma. I'll have to buy something new, but what? Another dress, that won't fit me in a month's time unless I contract tapeworm? A flashy top to go with jeans? Do I want to look dressy, or smart casual, or very casual? I have no idea. I so hope alcohol may clouded people's vision by the time I get there, but I can't count on that. All I know is I have to do something to make me look better than I really do - otherwise I'll have to rely on my meagre store of personal achievements to impress people!

Argh! I hate high school reunions!

Hopefully we'll bring to back to normal posting tomorrow, once this fit of cliched girliness has passed, and Girl Clumsy is back to eating her own body weight in chocolate and corn chips with gay abandon.


  1. Honey, for what's it's worth, I think you look FABULOUS.

    Trust me:

    a) I guarantee there will be at least one person over twice your size at the reunion and;

    b) everybody will be far too worried about their own jiggly bits and pancake/beanbag combos to be worried about yours.

    Have fun!!!

  2. I agree with Jen, even though I am in the same boat myself- i've put on kilo after kilo since I came to China two years ago and am dreading the first visit back home in two years that is scheduled at christmas: "Hi everyone! I'm back! Merry Christmas, I brought you all some cellulite from China... I made it myslef!"

    I think I'd go with the dressy jeans and a flashy top- and a bit of cleavage wouldnt go astray.

    In anycase, everyone will be so intrigued as to why you were late- you obviously had something WAY better to do...