Oct 3, 2008

Experiments in Beer

A friend of mine, Damien, has an interesting job. He works for a company that produces liquid thickener for people who have a hard time swallowing fluids.

During some drinkies at Chez Clumsy this evening, he revealed that a key ingredient was xantham gum. I piped up, saying I had a bag of xantham gum in the cupboard - a relic of a short-term fling with gluten-free cooking. With several Cascade lights on hand, Dan demanded we try some experiments. For Science.

We added about three teaspoons of the fluffy white powder to about 100mls of beer. The initial reaction was just a bigger head, and a bit of a rank odour emanating from my Ikea tumbler. We declared it a failure and went back to general chit-chatting.

About an hour later we discovered this:

I know! Gross right? Then check out this close-up shot of The Blob:

Ick! That is lumpy, gummy, beer-flavoured blob. Despite Science, no one was brave enough to taste it.

It's amazing what horrid things you can concoct in the privacy of your own kitchen. And let's not mention that mushroom risotto I made that time.


  1. That is easily the most disgusting thing I've seen on the internet today. And that's saying something.

  2. If I knew you were going to post it on the web I would have tried tasting it again once it had got to that point, but I still would have tasted like corn flour.

  3. looks like wats under the skull in john faulkners head?

    cheers from clearwater lake wallowa valley idaho

  4. I told you, I told you !!!
    Annoy God and anything can happen
    You are lucky it didn't take over the kitchen. The Wah should get down on his knees and apologise

  5. To all the old people I know... Beware!

    The gelatinous mass in that cup could be in your culinary future! YOUR FUTURE!

  6. I'd have tasted it. But I don't drink beer so I'm probably not a good taste tester for beer goo.

  7. This is one of the most fascinating things I've ever seen!

  8. As to age and the future...
    I don't think it would go up a straw...I suppose it could be administered colonically !!!
    Ooooh !!! Hello Sailor...
    Nuff said

  9. Just one last question.
    If no one was game to taste it, how do you know it was beer flavoured? Or, for that matter,
    corn flour flavoured.
    Ooooh beware the evil BLOB lurking in the kitchen

  10. if it is beer?

    it wld still have 2 b better than some of the beerz here


  11. I wonder if poor old Damien would have to deal with your complaints this morning.

    "Hello? Ah yes, I wish to inform your company that my slimey, squealchy and gummy mass was not quite what I imagined it this morning. There was a distinctive hops and barley flavour, and it produced a rather unexpected feeling of euphoria. Please explain."

  12. oh wat a joy 2 b back home 2 the land of beer..beer..real beer!!!

    and their i was lining up at the suncorp branch in carindale 5 weeks ago buying the dreaded green back for 97.25 and 2 cum home 2 the wondrous aussie dollar sliding below 74..

    i now almost have enough 2 fly again 2 the land of the free

    geeeeze i love this place..

    now time 2 read a decent newspaper..pat the puppies and tantalise the taste buds with a vb..

    WATS THIS??????

    >>> BLOODY MANLY!!!!!!!

  13. Ah yes Geoff.


    But only because of the conspiracy within the NRL, NRL Judiciary, Referee panel and all Bookies apparently, according to Craig and his boss

    On the up side it wasn't

    I am looking forward to "The Fibro's vs The Silvertails" on ABC on Thursday (I think) just to see Manly players being carried off to hospital


  14. field marshal crazy horse5:11 PM, October 08, 2008

    yeh allen

    ive missed all the juicy stuff i guess

    i heard on 4bc 2day that the supremo bellamy and his ceo cohort have apologised


    i'll have 2 cruise thru all the old newspapers


    geoff now crazy horse


    a little catchy dont u think?

  15. Come on Geoffry Horse
    Stop adding confusion to the already confused

  16. Or do we call you Crazy Geoff ?
    It's all up to you really

  17. field marshal crazy horse1:40 PM, October 09, 2008

    yeah i know

    i'll stick with crazy horse

    quite apt mentally and asctecally

    if thats how u spell it?