Dec 31, 2009


I popped into a pharmacy yesterday to get a script filled.

Now I always enjoy wandering around chemists - so many products of interest on the shelves, so many ph-balanced and lanolin-free body lotions to try out.

I'm sure everyone is familiar with the idea of a "Tester" - an opened product not for sale but rather for punters to try out. Squeeze out some of this, dab on some of that.

I was wandering through some shelves, gleefully rubbing some DermaVeen extra moisturising handcream into my palms, when I spotted a lone pink box with "Tester" writted in thick black pen on the side.

I took a few steps towards it, wondering what it was. Normally tester products are always out of boxes, and ready to use.

Turns out it was a pregnancy testing kit. A pregnancy testing kit, with "Tester" written - IN HAND - on the side.

Now who is "testing out" pregnancy testers IN THE CHEMIST?

"Look, I'm not sure if I really want to find out if I'm pregnant or not. Do you mind if I just pee on one of these sample sticks up the back somewhere - just so I can see if this pregnancy testing kit is going to work for me?"

What happens then? You promise not to look at the result? Cause that's no longer testing anything. That's just urinating in public.


  1. Great story, reminds me of the bit in the movie Juno where the eponymous character has taken the pharmacy store pregnancy test for a third time with the clerk stating

    Rollo: Well, well... If it isn't MacGuff the crime dog! Back for another test?

    Juno MacGuff: I think the last one was defective. The plus sign looked more like a division sign so I remain unconvinced.

    [Rollo pulls the bathroom key out of reach]

    Rollo: Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it.

    Tough Girl: [to Juno] It's really easy to tell. Is your nipples real brown?

    Rollo: Yeah. Maybe your little boyfriend's got mutant sperms. Knocked ya up twice.

    Juno MacGuff: Silencio old man! Look, I just drank my weight in Sunny-D and I gotta go pronto!

    Rollo: Well, you know where the lavatory is.
    [Juno heads towards the bathroom]

    Rollo: [yells] You pay for that pee stick when you're done! Don't think it's yours just cuz ya marked it with your urine!

  2. I didn't want to distract from the story, but the script I was having filled was for my contraceptive pill. Blessed, blessed "Brenda".

  3. Where is "like" button in Blogger? I give this one a thumbs up! ;D

  4. Erm, the 'like' button is up there. Where it says 'Like it? Aye/Nay'

    The Ayes have it, for the record. Great bit.

  5. Why both with a script for the contraceptive pill when you can just go to a different pharmacy every day and take one of the TESTER pills?

  6. The cheapskates only give you the sugar pills to test :)

  7. Um, so urinating in public is NOT a good thing?

    This 2010 is gunna be amazing, I am learning new things every single day.

    Oh and BTW, I saw a tester for Depends.

  8. Geez I wish I had the brain power and inclination at this time of the morning to say something witty that included "tester-tickles".. Woe is me and my dumb wakening moment brain!!!