Am I racist?
I don't know really. I mean, I don't FEEL like having a go at some black or brown or yellow or otherwise non-white people even though it IS Australia Day. But then I do appear to be having some run-ins with political incorrectness.
Yesterday the Wah and I were watching UK sketch comedy show That Mitchell and Webb Look, and at one point I asked if one of the cast members had been in Doctor Who.
"No," said the Wah. "That was a different black man."
"I didn't mean it like that!" I protested. "He looks like the guy who was in that Weakest Link episode. Or was he the guy who Donna was going to marry in her first Christmas episode?"
"Natalie, they were both different black men. Just because they're both black with very short hair, doesn't make them the same actor. There are lots of black actors."
"I didn't mean it like that! That's who that guy looked like to me!"
"Oh, they look the same to you? Are you being racist, Natalie?"
"Argh! No! I'm not racist! I'm not!"
Cut to much later in the evening. I'm watching a drama-documentary about the aftermath of the Hindenburg explosion. The Wah returns from a rehearsal.
"Hey, guess who's in this show?" I ask. "Paul McGann!"
"Really?" says the Wah, always interested in the careers of Doctors post-Who. "Where?"
"Look, that's him!" I say. "Playing the American commander who brought the airship in to land too quickly."
"That's not Paul McGann."
"It IS! It IS Paul McGann! That's his face!"
The Wah pauses. "Natalie, just because two white guys look somewhat similar, doesn't mean they're the same person."
"Oh you shut up!"
"Natalie, white guys are people too."
"I swear that's Paul McGann. I'll look it up on imdb.com."
It wasn't him. Paul McGann hadn't done the Hindenburg docu-drama.
"See, Natalie? There are lots of different white actors."
Later, the credits rolled on the Hindenburg program. I wait and watch, hoping maybe the Internet Movie Database had just missed a credit. The name scrolls by.
"MARK McGANN!" I cry.
"Who?" says the Wah.
"Mark McGann!" A quick internet check. "It's his BROTHER!"
So I'm not sure. Maybe I am racist.
Or maybe I just need a pair of glasses.