Nov 30, 2010

#TelstraWP7: Figaro Overture

I could really use a "More Sleep" app
Won a HTC Mozart Windows7 phone from Telstra. Have to review the handset, operating system and NextG network for two weeks. This is my first smartphone. Don't really know what I'm doing. Other social reviewers are uber texperts; you should read their blogs. Go to Twitter and search for "#telstraWP7", or check out the Telstra Exchange official blog forum thingie.

I have called new phone "Figaro", as I'm attempting to "figure it out". Don't laugh at my bad puns. I am very, very tired.

Early thoughts from an overwrought brain:

  • Ooh, big block tiles are simple, and respond to fat finger jabs.
  • I can change colours! Now pink, now teal! 
  • Having Gmail on my phone is So. Awesome.
  • HOW DO I ADD A CONTACT? GAH! Oh there's a plus button in the "people hub". That sounds like a country song. "Oh, oh, oh, she hit the plus sign in my people hub; and now she's gone awwaaaayyy".
  • Had the network weirdly just drop out at the Tempo Bar. Can't be reception, surely, it's the middle of the Valley. HIPSTERS WOULD NEED THE NETWORK. Try messing with settings. Nothing works. Someone suggests turning it off and turning it back on. BINGO. 20-plus years of mobile phone technology and the best trouble-shooting is still TURN IT OFF/TURN IT ON.
  • My fingers skim over the screen. Skim! Like rocks on a still pond! Oh, Amy Pond. I should get Doctor Who wallpaper. How do I download Doctor Who wallpaper?!?!?
  • Internet Explorer doesn't seem too bad. HAVE I COLLAPSED INTO A BLACK HOLE WHO WOULD SAY THAT. I can make the screen BIGGER OR SMALLER. I am like the magic potion Alice in Wonderland drinks. Hey, look, a bunny.
  • Oh God I'll never be able to write as cleverly as the other reviewers. They know what words like "processors" and "lag" and "RTFM" mean. 
  • Facebook integrates with Windows Live, even though I don't really know what Windows Live is. But why no Twitter integration? Are you that pissed off at Biz Stone, Microsoft? CAN'T YOU JUST GET ALONG I HAVE PICTURES TO TWEET NOW.
  • Actually forget that. I think I would get too confused. At least Twitter is in one place. The app thingy for it seems a tad on the slow side. But still, for new smartphone girl, it's like WOOHOOOOO TWITTER ON PHONE.
  • I am buying "apps". I have no idea what they do. One is a password vault. This is excellent news, as I keep forgetting my passwords. But it wants me to enter a "master password". Am scared. What if I forget it?
  • High score on Flight Control - one! "Surely you can't be serious" etc.
  • Tried using "Rapid Recorder" app to tape a media conference. It turned off when phone went to sleep. Tried to disable sleep mode completely, but the longest option I could find was five minutes. Now I have two files of Andrew Fraser talking AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACCESS THEM I AM A MORON.
  • Camera is kind of cool but I can't make it work in the dark. Seems a bit problematic, but I suspect it could be my fault. Why didn't I listen to my father and apply myself more to learning?
  • Just tried USB cabling Figaro to my new laptop. It seems to be charging, but neither device seems to be recognising the other.  But then I did buy an Apple laptop, and now have a Windows phone. OH THE IRONY TASTE IT IT'S LIKE IRON AND EPIC FAIL.
  • I'm supposed to try out music, I guess. But then Figaro has a Zune. And I have an Apple now. And I don't even know how to use iTunes. I have no music on my new laptop, nor my phone. Can anybody dust off a cassette player for me please? That's really all I deserve. And a Rick Astley cassingle if you have one. 
  • Author John Birmingham says I am dead to him for getting non-Apple phone product. Tried to point out I didn't pay for it. Doesn't seem to count. My friend Dan pointed out JB got a Kindle before getting an iPad and this is A. GOOD. POINT. BIRMINGHAM.
  • Say what you want, it's a dead sexy phone to hold and use. Dead sexy. I feel at least 13% sexier with Figaro.
  • Heh - if I think the phone is too flashy, I can use the quote TOO MANY NOTES, MR MOZART in my review and everyone will think I'm a genius.
  • Oh God other reviewers might read this. I'm so, so sorry.


  1. The thing I really want to know, after seeing the picture attached, is what the Mozza smells like. That seems to be your major preconception in the photo

  2. You may be able to find a usb setting on the phone that allows you to change it to mass storage device. This should allow the mac to see the device as a hard drive. Combined with on OSX program called Salling media sync it may even synchronise with iTunes.

    Oddly enough I just found a sleep app on my new Android phone. It's called Lightening Bug and it creates sound motifs like rain and thunder to fall asleep beside. It worked really well. I passed the Fuck out.

  3. Dan - I'll get that one and try it...

  4. I'm amused that you're "dead to him" for Windows Mobile, but those of us that have rather more extensive ties to the Borg are still on his good side ;-)

  5. Your review is much more entertaining than the standard list of specifications that only phone nerds care about.

    What I want to know is why one of the ads for this phone implies that you won't want to use it as much as an iPhone.

  6. Hey guys - thanks for your comments. I hope to do more sleep-deprived phone reviews.

    Doc - just giving it a sniff now. *Pause for smelling* Kind of metally and solid. *sniff* And slightly of banana. But I think that's because I was just eating a banana.

    Dan - I don't know how to do any of those things.

    Bart - tell me how you go...

    Blarkon - thank YOU for trialling my texts, Mr Space Lizard. But I can't remember your real name, hence my phone now has "Blarkon" in it. I think it's very 21st century.

    Amanda - can you send me a link to that ad, if it's on the net? I haven't seen any ads for the phone.

    It's an interesting point you raise, because The Wah's main interest is why you would buy this, when the iPhone is about the same price, and certainly the "market leader".

    From my impressions so far, it's quite simple to use, and features good integration with some social networking aspects. It's reasonably pretty too, in a functional way.

    My goal now is try to learn a bit more about deeper, more complicated features (more complicated for me anyway).

  7. On the same day you showed me your new review phone, my mother showed me the new phone she'd bought.

    It's this one. You have my mum's phone, Nat.

  8. Stu - your mother obviously has very discerning taste.

  9. I'm so not a techie, don't have a smartphone. but your post makes me think i could join you. (as well as my 3 year old nephew who is a master at the iphone, but not bodily waste control)

  10. Best technology review ever!

    I would enjoy if you did a technology series this post was way more informative than your typical passe blase review.

    any mac products in the future? I would enjoy reading that


  11. Figaro it out! Ha!! Wolfgang would love it.

  12. This is great. I hate tech reviews because I can never understand all the lingo... This was great! (PS I ended up here from the Blogs of Note)

  13. Nice one Nat, all opinions are valid, and a bit of humour doesn't hurt. Not everyone can be as nerdy as the next guy/gal, [read me] I want to hear if you can figure it out enough to use it. Cheers :)

  14. Love your blog! Good luck with everything!:)

  15. that's an interesting review of a technical product that I've ever read. I come to your blog through blog of note, and I must say your blog is neat and comfortable for reading :) Nonetheless interesting contents either. ^^

  16. I love the review. It made me chuckle! Why aren't all reviews as straight to the point as this??

  17. I did the opposite, bought an iPhone and had a was painful trying to figure everything out. Hooray for being technology un-savvy. And congrats on the blog of note!

  18. I feel like you just peeked into my brain and told me exactly what I wanted to know about the phone.
    Without all the flashy "it has this much memory blah blah blah" stuff.

    Because really, I need to know if it can take pictures in the dark.

    Side-note- I'm a new follower from the "Blogs of Note" area and I absolutely fell in love with your blog. Mostly because of this post. It may also have to do with your background.

    Just so you know.

  19. Whoohoo! I also came here because of you being a "Blog of Note". I looked at some of your earlier posts, and I really enjoyed your "Possum" movie. Congratulations on blogging for 6 years, that's a real accomplishment!

  20. Youve made me really want a doctor who screensaver...

  21. GOD.
    This is EPIC.
    Lol. Prolly the only entertaining gadget review I've EVER seen.
    Keep writing. I need something to keep reading. =)

  22. Oh God other reviewers might read this. I'm so, so sorry. wowo............

  23. found you on the blogs of note page, i like your comedic style that still flirts with seriousness. keep it up. i'm becoming a follower right now.

  24. This is a sort of blog we can have loads of information i would like to appreciate the intelligence of this blog’s owner

  25. KITsDad or Guido Pestoni, depending on my mood2:00 PM, February 17, 2011

    JB is a fanboi?!? I am so unfollowing his blog.

    Excellent review CG, so sick of those OTHER reviews that talk about "user interface and experience" and "portability".
    I'm getting one.
    I highly recommend reviewing a Kinect next.