Some random photos:
The Bendable Candle Lighter is apparently "Great For Candles!" By the way, did I tell you about my "Waterproof Bear-Hurling Trebuchet"? It's "Great for Bear-Hurling!".
What the f*** is this bulls**t? Mars Caramel? What do Mars take us for, fools?
It's pretty simple. Your Mars Bar is made up of THREE components - a crispy chocolate coating, a delicate layer of caramel, nestled above a bed of delicious nougat. The Mars Bar REMOVES THE NOUGAT. I'm sorry Mars, you just can't DO that sort of s*** and still call it a Mars Bar. Would Christians like it if you deep-sixed the Holy Spirit then insisted the God/Jesus combo was still a Holy Trinity? NO THEY WOULD NOT.
And this is a wider message for chocolate companies. Stop muddying the f***ing waters already. Isn't it enough that we have Cadbury blocks in every conceivable nut and filling combination - do we have to have them as ice-cream versions as well? Isn't it enough that we get our bubbles of minty Aero goodness from a block of the stuff, rather than a flimsy dairy dessert? I CAN'T COPE WITH ALL THIS MODERNISATION.
I thought I should try oatmeal. You know, porridge. You can see for yourself above how humourous The Wah found the whole idea.
I tried to microwave the porridge twice last week at work; on both days it exploded in a gooey milky mess.
I was following the instructions, I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe the microwave was too powerful. Maybe the milk was laced with nitro-glycerin. Damn explosive-uddered dairy cows.