If I were to show you this picture, of two cosmetic items I have in my bathroom....
And this, a close-up, just so you can really see the labels....
And, given that said products are the same size, with the same packaging...and given that my nickname is Girl Clumsy.... what do you think would happen to me?
Hands up if you said "Oh, she's gone and sprayed herself in the face with deodorant, hasn't she?"
You're all wrong.
I have, in fact, NOT confused these two items at all.
Every day I use these products. Every day I wait to screw it up, and spray myself in the face with all-natural deodorant.
For over two weeks, I have been WAITING for the inevitable to happen. At first it was a "Hmm, better be careful about that". Then it became "Well, if it has to happen, at least I have blog fodder". That's right - I started thinking about having a clumsy incident purely so I could fill cyberspace with more quasi-amusing tales of my general ineptitude.
BUT IT HASN'T HAPPENED.
The toner has been used on the face; the deodorant on the underarms.
I almost thought about lying, and writing "gosh-can-you-believe-it-I-really-am-such-a-clumsy-duffer", in order to elicit your sympathetic chuckles.
But I am a terrible liar, and I realise that they would be chuckles elicited under false pretences.
So I will get no chuckles today. I have failed you, dear readers. I have failed you by NOT f***ing this one up yet.
I have somehow subliminally undermined both my own innate clumsiness AND the attention-seeking slice of my pre-frontal cortex that would cash in on that innate clumsiness for internet glory.
And frankly, I'm scared.
IS THIS THE END OF CLUMSY?
Given I tripped over my own feet twice today, chances are not, but still.
WHY HAVE I NOT SPRAYED MYSELF IN THE FACE WITH DEODORANT YET?
I'm sure now that you've posted this it is inevitable that it will happen.ReplyDelete
you can't win, first you're complaining that your blog makes yourself fulfilling prophecy, and now you're complaining you're not clumsy at all!ReplyDelete
Maybe that's the problem, you don't think about what could go wrong, and if you do think about what could go wrong, nothing bad happens... Hrm.... that's almost deep :)
"tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when I walk into an open sewer and die". Mel Brookes.ReplyDelete
I personally would rather cut my finger.
"For over two weeks, I have been WAITING for the inevitable to happen." And in that time it hasn't occurred to you to stick labels on the bottles, or at least write on them with a wide felt-tip?ReplyDelete
@Dan - Perhaps you should start wearing black & hanging out the front of the store formerly known as "Rocking Horse Records" in Albert Street, Brisbane City.ReplyDelete
Anon, I think the thrill of "maybe" is stopping her uncapping the felt tip at this point.ReplyDelete
I had to resort to the black pen myself earlier in the year after one too many shampoo/conditioner mix ups in the shower. It was either that or get prescription goggles.
May I suggest you deliberately spray yourself in the face with the deodorant. That way it will have happened and you can get on with being clumsy in other aspects of life?ReplyDelete
Or would the deliberateness negate the action?
Hah! The baking powder and custard powder boxes in Edmond's range of New Zealand products are very very similar. I had a dinner party and wondered why my cake was lead-like...ReplyDelete