I have always maintained a curious interest in goings-on in the TV direct marketing business. Some of the finest, yet most ridiculous products in history have gained notoriety and popularity through this medium. The Topsy-Tail, the Ginzu Knives, the ThighMaster, the Power Duster - and of course all of those ab-trimming machines.
But I feel the artform of paid promotional advertising has reached its apex. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce: The Snuggie.
The Snuggie is the latest in high-tech, polyester-fleece urban loungewear. Or, as the website triumphantly exclaims:
It's the blanket with sleeves!
It goes on:
Blankets are OK, but they can slip and slide. And when you need to reach for something, your hands are trapped inside.
I'm not sure if the good people at Global Shop Direct intended their product description to begin with such delicious poetry, but it's working for me. I had never realised the innate impracticality of blankets until it was outlined to me by means of a rhyming couplet. They slide off you! And they TRAP YOUR HANDS IN THEIR FILTHY, DOWN-FILLED PRISON!
The Snuggie keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands.
FINALLY, FREEDOM! TERRIFYING FREEDOM!
So now, you can work the remote, or read a book in total warmth and comfort, use your laptop without being cold, or enjoy a snack while staying snuggly warm.
I could NEVER have done those things before without massive, sliding-blanket induced inconvenience. Followed by death.
No more cold feet.
See, if only someone had been clever enough to invent woolly or fleecy all-over foot coverings and given them names like "socks" and "slippers", we wouldn't have had to wait this long for toasty toes.
And with Snuggie, you can get up and still stay warm.
We all know physical activity is inherently anti-warming. I may just cry tears of joy and blood.
By now you should be entirely convinced of the desirability of an all-over machine-washable blanket robe. But the TV advertisement doesn't restrain The Snuggie to indoor use only - which you would think would be its purview. Oh no. The Snuggie is an all-weather device, ready to be deployed at a moment's notice in chilly outdoor conditions.
And when you take into account that The Snuggie is currently only available in two colours - "Religious Cult Burgundy" and "Harry Potter Goes Mardi Gras Royal Blue" - you realise just how much your kids will love you when you turn up to cheer them on at Little Athletics decked out like the albino monk from The DaVinci Code.
It's time to suit up, people. Let's embrace The Snuggie. Thanks to Global Shop Direct - now everybody can get fleeced!
The Snuggie in the ad makes the woman wearing it look like Mrs Obi-Wan Kenobi,ReplyDelete
"The fleece is strong with this one"
Sounds just like 'Doonahands' from the Glynn Nicholas Show.ReplyDelete
lol Yeah, they look like something you get handed to you just before the group suicide in expectation of the UFO's taking you home.ReplyDelete
I bought one....ReplyDelete
they are magic , srsly ...ReplyDelete
This is without a doubt the funniest ad in a LONG TIME. I just cannot understand how those actors keep straight faces.ReplyDelete
"Now you can reach for your cup of coffee, or pet an animal while STAYING WARM."
Cracks me right up.
Hey, don't knock the importance of staying warm.ReplyDelete
There was a version out a year or two ago but it was quilted. Like a Doona with arms.
Imagine: Dressed in a Religious Cult Burgundy Snuggie, a pair of those Rainbow socks with the toes and wooly gloves to match. Now go and pick up the kids from school. Parents revenge.
The Snuggie is nothing but a cheap, shameless knock-off of the original and far superior Slanket. Have these people no shame? Down with the Snuggie! The Slanket rules supreme!ReplyDelete
It looks like the wearers should join a cult!ReplyDelete
As I live in a colder climate then some of you, I can appreciate the concept of the Snuggie. But I don't want to look like a Jedi padawan in the process, unless I get the lightsaber to go with it.ReplyDelete
People ... I feel like Charlton Heston at the end of Soylent Green ... "It's a ROBE you put on BACKWARDS."ReplyDelete
Stop it ... stop it now.
I'm seriously thinking of getting one. Sorry, two-for-one. bedesReplyDelete
Well at least Phil Gould, having shed tears for the well being of Matthew Johns has come out in favour of the other men? coming out of their particular closets
Oh look!!! a pig just flew past my window...
Strange..it looked as though it was wearing a Rugby League jersey
The Ancient Man
I saw the ad and thought it was a gruen trasnfer wind up or something similarReplyDelete
The Wah - "Join the woollen side."ReplyDelete
Dan - Never saw that show.
Moko - Look out! It's the Hale Bopp Players!
Shannon & Switch - glad you're enjoying them. They do look cosy. JUST BIZARRE.
Edwina - You and me both. Maybe one for Maisie?!?!
Big Bad Al - I don't have children. So I'd just be embarrassing myself. AGAIN. ;)
Flinthart - Oh.Emm.Gee.
Oisin - My cult encourages promiscuity. But only with me, the Cult Leader. It's this new thing I'm trying.
Yankeedawg - Well, they are offering a free booklight if you order. Does that help?
Rhino - Yeah, but what was Heston wearing for half his career? Robes, anyone? ;)
Bedes - You know, I imagine the cattle get pretty cold during the Wagga Wagga winter!
Chaz - me too!
This is by far my favorite product out right now. I can't get over it. If you haven't seen the infomercial yet look at the youtube video,ReplyDelete
just wanted to share ;)