May 6, 2009

Love 'til Structural Failure

Today I purchased The Wah a new belt. His old one really had outlived its ability to perform its basic task of holding up pants:

It's not so obvious in the photo, but the belt is actually only half a belt, having lost its backing some months back. It's as flimsy as Lindsay Lohan's lesbianism. The rip you can see near the tightest hole is not only a fairly unfortunately phrased piece of innuendo - it's also more than half the belt's width. The damn thing is virtually useless, and it looks terrible. It's like Lindsay Lohan after seven lines at the Viper Room.

But The Wah tends to be like this. He will own things to the point of physical destruction. When we first started dating, he always carried with him a black canvas knapsack. He carried that damn thing around for at least four years, despite the buckles buckling and holes growing ever holier. He'd owned it for at least three years before we'd met - eventually it got "lost" somewhere. I may have had something to do with that; I can't honestly remember (Your Honour). Eventually we had to buy new backpacks for an overseas trip, and he began using the attachable daypack instead. It turned out to be more useful in the "holding things I own" department.

I'm always slightly wary of just throwing The Wah's things away. He gets very sensitive and starts mumbling things like "Bloody woman, getting rid of my stuff, leaving me with nothing, tearing it all away, take my life why don't you". So I do tend to make grave and sad-eyed requests before I chuck the damn things in the bin.

And I must admit to having my own "keep until reduced to atoms" items over the years - there was that bright red Max Factor lipstick that my mother gave me to use during ballet concerts when I was about eight, and that I only threw away after high school; there are all those branded pens I buy from various castles, museums or other tourist attractions that I stash in a bag in my study despite the fact half of them don't work; and then of course there's my blue Crocs, which really are over-worn, but remain in my wardrobe because goddamnit I walked the Great Wall of China in those suckers and I may need to enter them as evidence to prove as much one day.

So what about you? Are there clothes, toys, bits of electronics, pieces of furniture, bathroom flotsam or general jetsam that you just can't bring yourself to throw away?


  1. I once wore my underpants until they were basically a loose belt with a skirt hanging off it. One day my girlfriend at the time grabbed them and literally tore them off me.

    She then proceeded to not have any sex with me at all. There is no better demonstration of the old 'Bait and switch' routine that this. It was heart breaking.

  2. If you had been to my place you would understand the extend of my hoarding. Mostly because I'm too lazy to actually go through the boxes of stuff I moved in four years ago and never bothered to unpack...

  3. A pair of Doc Martins worn almost everyday for eight years. It took three months of agony walking them in to the point they stopped hurting. Damned if I wasn't giving those up without a fight.

    and the new ones just aren't the same.

  4. Shoes. When I have a pair of shoes I like I wear them until bits of them fall off. Then I continue to wear them.

  5. I remember that bag of the Wah's. It had rather legendary status.

    I get attached to pillow cases. I nurse them and hand wash them, even when they get transparent thin, and they have to basically crumble before I will throw them away. Because those old worn ones are always the SOFTEST ones!

  6. I have a 'Sankt-Peterburgskii Teknicheskii Universitet' t-shirt that's more holes than shirt at this point, but I can't bear the thought of tossing it.

  7. My old Subie. Though as the Squire would probably concur, old Subies refuse to fall apart.

  8. o_O

    I rather suspect we bought the same brand of belt, given how very much it resembles the condition of one of mine which I eventually threw away when it stopped working... for the same reason...

  9. I didn't throw it away! It was untimely ripped from my widening girth!

    I believe clothes should be treated like lovers. You don't just throw them away... they decide the best time to leave you... and if that is in multiple pieces on the floor - well, i know nothing about THAT, Officer..

  10. I happened to stumble across your blog via "blogs of note." Very talented.

    I know this is 18 months since your post but...loved it.

    O' and I have crocs of my own. I relate this to you because I find people who wear crocs are like people with an a drug addiction. Most of us are reluctant to admit it.