Free Willies

I'm not revealing their names yet; that will be a surprise for opening night.

But here they are, wandering wild along Petrie Terrace: two giant willy costumes.

Hopefully this video will make no sense - but give you a laugh and make you want to see How To Be A Man.

 

Meanwhile, ImproMafia is still in action - we've got the amazing 1940s mystery men show Fists of Fury coming up for three Sundays starting 6 November. It's got action, combat, over-sized comic book weapons - all for just $12 per show. You should totally check it out.

It's a busy time for me up at the Brisbane Arts Theatre, that's for sure! One day soon I'm hoping for a day off.

The Queen & I

There was no Queen and I.

Knocked back for royal media credentials, my attendance at Brisbane Airport when Her Majesty landed on Monday was from the rather picturesque position of behind the barbed wire.

Before our head of state landed, I did have a brief exchange with Premier Anna Bligh, who wandered over to the part of the fence where my dear friend and fellow journalist Robyn were standing.

"Had to come over and say hello," she chirped, "...because I thought 'Oh look, there's Girl Clumsy in red'."

Now first of all, it was more like a burnt orange, but what the hey, and second...

Shooting the Message

Facebook is the natural home for sharing images with your friends. For many years, this was mostly humorous cat and or dog pictures...

OMG IS THAT KITTEH UNDER THE DOG'S EAR OMG SO CUTE.

...but that's since expanded into a much broader range - from famous quotes all the way to parody famous quotes.

Generally I've been unable to work up enough yellow bile to justify writing about these Facebook fads.

But a recent growing trend has gotten my sphincters all uppity.

Old School Siri

Everyone's way too excited about this "Siri" business. Frankly, I had "Siri" technology at school.

Cocktober Results!

I'm very pleased (and grateful!) to announce that Cocktober exceeded all expectations.

There was some frenzied bidding around the $100 mark; but dark horse Drej came in at the last minute with $120 to nab the highest bid. The second-highest went to Alan with $110. So they will be naming the two giant penis costumes in How To Be A Man.

In a twist, the always-impressive Rhino - who'd been right up there until being pipped at the very end - has graciously agreed to transfer his bid offer of $100 to our cockroach costume.

So altogether that's $330 raised to cover production costs!

Thanks to all winners, and to everyone who bid.

Production work is progressing well. There's a certain sense of familiarity, of "coming home" doing this show - mostly due to working with brilliant people who make me laugh. There's also a certain style that we established with Felafel and Tassie Babes, and it's wonderful to see HTBAM growing and following in those footsteps. However, there's always the challenge of inventing, creating, and being more ambitious than ever before. I'm cognisant that many audience members will not have seen the previous two shows, so it's important to me that while HTBAM is part of that legacy, it's able to stand alone as an enjoyable experience.

Here's a teaser photograph taken from our rehearsal today by Joanna, my amazing stage manager/production assistant/maker of wonderful cakes/all round super efficient 2IC:

Hopefully soon I'll be able to shoot some promotional viral videos for you all - revealing names of our giant penis costumes!

It's Cocktober! Celebrate by naming a Penis.

So here's another reason for my parents to be amazingly proud of me.

My next production, How to Be a Man, contains not only dick jokes, but actual dicks!

And I'm not talking about the cast members (boom-tish).

I'm talking about the two full-size penis costumes I need - for artistic purposes, obviously.

My favourite part is the button that says "Click to Enlarge".

As a fun way of raising awareness - and cash! - I'm going to auction off the naming rights to our super schlongs.

That's right readers - this is your chance to be a part of Brisbane theatre history.

The winning bidders will receive:

• The right to name a penis (a one word name only, but it can be anything you like). The name will be stitched onto the front of the giant willy, and will remain there for the run of the show.
• A mention in the program.
• A double pass to the opening night of How to Be a Man on Saturday 12 November (transferable to another night if you are unable to attend opening). You'll also get a backstage tour of the set.
• A merchandise pack including an official How To Be a Man t-shirt and stubby cooler.
• A photograph of you with your personalised penis.

There are TWO of these packs up for grabs via secret auction.

The minimum bid is $30 - to place your bid, please email natalie @ girl clumsy dot com with your name, a contact phone number, and what you'd be prepared to stump up to give a John Thomas your own John Hancock.

I'm going to update the bidding amounts in the comments section, so you can see what's being pledged, and whether you want to beat it!

The competition will remain open until 5pm Friday 14 October. The winning bidders will be contacted by phone. The winning amounts will be able to be paid via cheque to the Brisbane Arts Theatre or by direct bank deposit.

Please note - if funds raised exceed the cost of the penis costumes, fantastic! The extra dosh will be funnelled into other production expenses for How To Be A Man. The Brisbane Arts Theatre receives no government or corporate sponsorship, so you know your dollars are going straight to a community organisation that needs them.

Nice?

I fell asleep last night thinking of regrets, and woke up this morning remembering Nick Niceguy.

He was a year above me at high school. He was in a reasonably nerdy, but not wholly unsociable group of friends. They once invited my friend Clare and I to a party in Nick's rumpus room. I remember being a bit uncertain going in, but then we ended up all telling funny stories about Mr Braiden the Manual Arts teacher (nicknamed "Band-Aid" because of his cavalier attitude towards healing shop-inflicted wounds), and playing air guitar to Killing in the Name. It was the first time I'd head Rage Against the Machine.


Ah, Thich Quang Duc. Your protest resonated more strongly
when accompanied by the thumping riffs of Tom Morello.

At some point somebody told me Nick had a crush on me.

Cuffed

Last weekend saw ImproMafia stage its Off the Cuff Festival at the Brisbane Powerhouse.

It was a tremendously successful three days, featuring six shows on Thursday and Friday, and culminating in the Theatresports National Championships on Saturday.

Our audiences grew remarkably across the three nights - we actually sold out the Saturday night show two days early and had numerous people chasing tickets!

In the end, comedy was the real winner. Also: Victoria.

Our interstate guests all reported having a great time, which is a credit to ImproMafia, and in particular, to the dedicated group of organisers pulling all the strings. I helped with marketing and publicity, and the large crowds really were a balm to the publicist's soul.

Most important though were the shows themselves - and all were a wonderful quality. It really was a showcase event. I was thrilled to be able to perform four times, plus co-host the Nationals with my good buddy Wade.

After the show, we had to go kill some supervillains.

I wanted to thank everyone who came along to the festival and made it such a success. Your support really was invaluable, and being able to entertain people is the reward for the hard slog of organising a major event. And thanks again to Kris Anderson, our wonderful musician, for letting me use his lovely photographs (given that I was too busy to remember to take any of my own).

I also wanted to apologise again for using my blog as my own private pimpdom. I promise I will restrain myself from blatant self-promotion for the next few months.

Oh, but one more thing?

Girl Clumsy lies.

Bring on 12 November, baby. Mama's got some more people to offend...