Remember November: Rhyming Household Products

Back in the late 80s and 90s, there was a fascination with creating products of convenience that filled a gap you didn't know you had.

For example - sitting on a chair just not comfortable enough?

Plop your hoofs onto the Feet Seat:

Eating on your lap creating too much kinetic tension between your food and your pants? 

Whack your plate on a Stable Table:

At the end of the day, they were selling us ottomans and trays, products that have probably been around since the Stone Age. One can imagine a cave man sitting on one rock and putting his feet up on another; while his recently-gored-by-a-mammoth mate watched ochre paintings while scoffing berries from a piece of slate.

Like my Dad thousands of years later, the cave men would probably even giggle whenever somebody said "Where's the pouffe?"

But throw a silly catcy name on it, and watch the cash roll in. The only difference with these new-wave ottomans and trays was that both were full of beans. Bean bag beans. The kind of beans that once spilled, could never be recollected. For years after a refilling mishap, one would find tiny white beans under couches, in the corner of living rooms, wedged between carpet fibres.

Ultimately, I think it was the beans that led to the rhyming household products' demise. They were just too easily eaten by small children, pets, and people mistaking them for floor Tic-Tacs.

But I sometimes miss the days when you couldn't walk into Kmart without ploughing headfirst into giant pyramids of Feet Seats and Stable Tables. Somebody should bring back modern versions - sit on a "Flair Chair", have your baby on a "Pushin' Cushion", or whip up a truly electric stirfry in a "Shock Wok".

I should get paid for this kind of brainstorming, I really should.