Gah!
I just saw this production in Brisbane last month, with Reg Livermore as the grumpy phonetics expert. He did a serviceable job, but he's not frickin' Richard E. frickin' Grant!
Now I don't mean to sound snobbish here, but I've seen David Tennant play Hamlet. I've seen Patrick Stewart play Claudius. I've seen Tim Curry play King Arthur in Spamalot.
I've got a frickin' reputation to uphold.
Somebody book me some flights to Sydney, stat.
To make matters worse, there are rumours that a new film version of "My Fair Lady" is reportedly in the works starring Daniel Day-Lewis and - dear-God-please-don't-let-it-be-so - Keira frickin' Knightley as Eliza Doolitte.
Why? Why? What is so wrong with the 1964 classic starring Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn? She's already played Elizabeth Bennett in "Pride and Prejudice". Do we have to remake every frickin' period film in existence just to give Keira Knightley more time in a corset? I mean, surely that's not the only way she could fake a cleavage. Chicken fillets for a start. Tissues at a pinch.
Can you imagine, Keira Knightley, with a dob of dirt on her perfect little nose, pushing that overstuffed pout out as far as the Puff-U-Like collagen can stretch, gazing up at Daniel Day-Lewis with his crazy eyes, fluttering her inch-long eyelashes and saying "I'm a good girl, I am". Gah!
I despair, I really do.
