Richard E. Grant is playing Professor Henry Higgins in the Sydney run of "My Fair Lady" - starting this week!
I just saw this production in Brisbane last month, with Reg Livermore as the grumpy phonetics expert. He did a serviceable job, but he's not frickin' Richard E. frickin' Grant!
Now I don't mean to sound snobbish here, but I've seen David Tennant play Hamlet. I've seen Patrick Stewart play Claudius. I've seen Tim Curry play King Arthur in Spamalot.
I've got a frickin' reputation to uphold.
Somebody book me some flights to Sydney, stat.
To make matters worse, there are rumours that a new film version of "My Fair Lady" is reportedly in the works starring Daniel Day-Lewis and - dear-God-please-don't-let-it-be-so - Keira frickin' Knightley as Eliza Doolitte.
Can you imagine, Keira Knightley, with a dob of dirt on her perfect little nose, pushing that overstuffed pout out as far as the Puff-U-Like collagen can stretch, gazing up at Daniel Day-Lewis with his crazy eyes, fluttering her inch-long eyelashes and saying "I'm a good girl, I am". Gah!
I despair, I really do.